[he stiffens when she sits beside him, though it's not directly related to her. he's just... mad and hurting and he doesn't want to move because part of him feels like a time bomb. he doesn't even know if he wants to be touched right now.]
[he used to think he deserved this. but he's suffered enough, hasn't he? he died. nothing is supposed to top that.]
I want it to stop. I do not want to live like this.
I cannot even pull on my own kriffing pants.
[and that doesn't even touch on the reminders and flashes of the fall every time he does get a flare up. much like jyn, he's very good usually about boxing up trauma.]
no subject
[he used to think he deserved this. but he's suffered enough, hasn't he? he died. nothing is supposed to top that.]
I want it to stop. I do not want to live like this.
I cannot even pull on my own kriffing pants.
[and that doesn't even touch on the reminders and flashes of the fall every time he does get a flare up. much like jyn, he's very good usually about boxing up trauma.]