[ "i've got you" is such a simple sentence, a simple idea, but it makes jyn feel warm all over and she isn't 100% sure that she knows why. it's nice, being part of a team.
she hums, but is content to exist in their quiet bubble for now, companionable silence while the music drifts in from the square. ]
[ they fall into quiet, but it isn't awkward. the quiet with jyn is always comfortable. there's no pressure to do anything but exist with each other, and he's so rarely had that with another person. the isolation of the park is perfect for them and this moment. ]
[ as they dance, he finds himself slipping in even closer, his hand resting warmly on the small of her back. his head lowers towards hers until his cheek is mere centimeters from the top of her head, and there's a very soft smile on his face. he took a chance asking her to dance, it paid off. ]
[ some emotions are easy for jyn to read (anger, frustration, their matching sorrow and loss) and some are harder (happiness, joy, love). jyn feels Something but she doesn't know... what it is.
whatever it is, it's warm and soft and a little bit scary, but she ignores it for now instead of trying to figure it out. she'll figure it out when the song is over. her eyes close and she doesn't even realize when her power reaches out of its own accord and pulls the water from the air, fat droplets hovering around them and reflecting off the setting sun like hundreds of tiny crystals. ]
[ it is warm, and he feels it too. it's a kind of warm that's been growing since they got here, maybe a little before, but he's not quite sure when he even realized it existed. it always seems to heat up in moments like these, maybe because he actually trusts and feels safe with her. maybe it is safety. ]
[ they match though. ]
[ he notices the water, and not because of the glow in her chest - somehow they've gotten too close for him to catch that first. it looks pretty, her power accentuating the peace of the dance. he doesn't want to draw attention to it, because he doesn't want it to stop, but his smile does deepen as they keep swaying through the end of the song. ]
[ buncha people died. that's how marcos had gotten this job. all right, maybe it was more jyn putting in a good word for him than anything but he's not going to forget her telling him that a buncha people died. it shouldn't have made him chuckle but it had.
so, he's starting a new job and it's...different, being a courier had given him a level of freedom that he'd liked but it had felt rote. this type of thing was more grunt work for the most part but it kept him mind occupied and that's what he needed.
the first few days are training and by the time they let marcos go on his own, he's pretty confident about what he's doing. it's not a difficult to learn job but it does take work.
he's carrying a box down one corridor when he happens to hear what sounds like water pouring over something. his immediate reaction is to turn the other way, to ignore it, to to try and forget about it but the visual of someone watering a plant up ahead is enough to ruin those hopes and dreams.
it's vivid, how clearly he can remember the water pouring over the cloth, over his face, into his throat, and his eyes. he hadn't even been able to see it, for the most part. the cloth had been thick and suffocating especially when it had become deluged with water.
he breathes fast, too fast, and he can feel himself start to hyperventilate. soon enough, he's wheezing, black spots popping up in front of his eyes and he thunks back against the wall, using it to try and keep himself upright so he doesn't pass out. ]
[ there is a lot of monotony to jyn's own job, but she has to use her brain constantly and it keeps food on her table which is the most important thing in the world to her. she has done worse shit for food than sitting in an air conditioned lab carefully compiling data and taking long lunches with her best friend when he can swing it.
and it's nice having marcos around, too.
it's less nice when she sees him slumped against the wall as she turns the corner. she swears under her breath -- in basic because she knows better than to make a spectacle of herself -- and hurries down the hall. the first step is to take the box from his hands and set it on the floor, straightening up to put her hands on his shoulders. ]
[ he hates this. it makes him feel weak, like a coward, like everyone else had been able to handle torture sessions but he was still affected by his own. it was annoying and a nuisance and he hated it but he was powerless to stop it. people had told him it would take time and patience but he was out of those. he wanted this done now.
jyn's face swims into view and he blinks at her, trying to focus but his eyes slip away to some spot over her shoulder while the water continues to pour into plants. he shifts, shucking her hands away because he has to get his own hands over his ears to block that out.
he can't listen to it anymore. he can't he can't he can't. ]
[ the moment he starts to move, she releases him, letting him do what needs to be done. he's blocking something out and jyn gets that, sometimes she wakes up to the sun streaming so brightly through their windows that is looks like the bright white of the death star's impact hurtling toward her and she can feel the unbearable heat licking at her skin.
he's not listening, so jyn scoops her arm around his waist and draws him away from the wall, leading him a few steps before she can slip into a conference room across the hall, pulling him inside with her. there are no windows to the hall so they have privacy, but the outside wall is entirely windows, looking out over the city below them.
her fingers press against his chest, feeling his heart racing. ]
Marcos, I'm going to count to three, okay? When I get to three, I want you to take a breath. [ if something is familiar about what she says, it is probably because cassian is the one that talks her down from panic attacks as well. ] Can you do that?
[ he doesn't resist when she grabs him by the waist, doesn't protest when she drags him into a quiet room and shuts the door. he turns away from the wall of windows just in case and clenches his hands into fists.
jyn's voices reaches him again and the familiarity of the words is the only thing that makes him nod. he's done that before, he can do that. he's pretty sure he can manage to do that again.
he hasn't passed out yet and with the sound of the water gone from his ears, maybe it'll even be easier.]
[ jyn takes him through the one, two, three pattern a few times, listening to his breathing slow enough that the threat of hyperventilation fades. she knows what happened to him, she knows what was involved, so she can't bring any of those things up and she struggles to grasp at a topic to make marcos focus on the way cassian makes her focus on squirrels. ]
Tell me how you met Cassian.
[ a story she knows because cassian told her, marcos told her, both of them told her so they could tease her. but it was easy and normal and had nothing to do with trauma or violence or water and she finds she has to shove down a wave of anger that they tortured marcos with her power. ]
[ cassian. how had he met cassian? he tries to get his sluggish, overworked brain to cooperate and then says the first thing that pops into his head. ]
Pickles.
[ there had been pickles. that's what he remembers. which means they were at...the harvest festival. they'd been at the harvest festival, yeah. ]
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