[ he gets the sense she is ready to throw down with him about this, but he's not sure he wants to have this conversation right now?? cassian's feelings about himself are difficult and complicated and not happy ones and he doesn't want to unpack that in a park on some swings when he just wanted to sit in the quiet and enjoy time with jyn! time they weren't supposed to even have, thanks to the aforementioned sacrifice. ]
I seem to recall you being a big part of that sacrifice too.
[ jyn seems to recall cassian being in this fight since he was six years old. she doesn't throw his own words back in his face because she is an asshole, but not a fucking asshole. ]
[ jyn gives up easily, biding her time until she can push at him again. she'll have time to prove her point at a later date. jyn can be patient, even if she commonly chooses not to. ]
[ he relaxes when she gives up, shoulders sinking with the relief of it. he knows it's going to come up again simply because jyn is stubborn as shit and this is an argument he suspects she doesn't want to lose (though really, all of them, jyn wants to win all of them). ]
[ but in the meantime he's just glad she respected what he wanted. he shoots her a half grin. ]
Dance with me?
[ he doesn't really know! where that comes from! except maybe it's the complete opposite of his feelings of self worth, so you know, a curve ball. but also... with the music softly echoing in the park, he finds it's genuine. he wants to dance with jyn, so there. he doesn't want to overthink it, and she makes that easier. ]
[ jyn nibbles on one of her fruits, looking up at cassian when he asks her to dance with a grape halfway between her teeth. she bites down and grape juice dribbles down her chin, necessitating she wipe it off with her arm because she is a mannerless heathen. ]
[ he pauses for a second, startled, because part of him was expecting an argument. he even had counterpoints at the ready to convince her - it's isolated, it's quiet, daring her to play up the challenge of it. ]
[ but she agrees easily, munching on her grape and cassian finds he wants to dance with her even more when she wipes the mess away. he puffs out an amused sound, climbing off the swing and holding out his hand without thinking. ]
Okay.
[ if (when) she takes it, she'd get a sense of that surprise but also just how pleased he is that she agreed, burying his poor sense of self worth. ]
[ jyn pushes her heels against the ground to stop before taking cassian's hand, carefully setting the small plate of food on the swing before... she shoves the last piece of cake in her mouth at once. maybe jyn is part chipmunk, hoarding food for winter.
as usual, jyn feels the familiar warmth of being with cassian, he is her best friend and it feels nice. ]
I haven't danced since my Coruscanti finishing school years, [ she warns sarcastically. the truth is that she has not danced since her father spun her around the kitchen on lah'mu and she doesn't fully remember that. maybe it was her imagination and not a real memory. ]
[ he's gotten used to that warmness from her. sometimes he finds himself seeking it out, because it's become a comfortable familiar feeling for him too. he squeezes her hand briefly, still smiling even if it's mild, like he's restraining it in all the ways he's too used to restraining himself. ]
I never said it had to be a good dance. [ though it'll be good by default since it exists. he pulls her in a little as he moves them away from the swings, giving them the room for more. ]
I am not sure much of anything stuck around from those lessons. [ ayyy! he takes her other hand to his shoulder, settling his at her waist. ] I can fake it, we will be fine.
[ jyn lets him shift her into place, making a face at him even as she moves in a bit closer so her arm doesn't feel so weird hovering in the air. by the time she decides that she is comfortable, jyn is very much in his space, her fingers drumming against his shoulder, her arm resting across his. she's close enough now that the soft blue glow is nearly hidden between them. ]
I know how to use cutlery, I choose not to.
[ that might be a bit of a lie, but she would have learned that in some absurd school for deportment! which she clearly attended. ]
[ he half laughs again. has he never seen jyn use a fork, like ever? in the entire time he's known her? which (he has to keep reminding himself) isn't actually that long? he honestly can't remember. ]
[ her arm drops onto his and he lets it, merely adjusting his own position to better hold it up. they fit nicely. neatly. comfortably. he starts to move them to the music, and even in that it seems almost seamless. ]
Yes. We can switch, but I imagine it would be hard for you to lead if you do not know the steps.
[ they're not doing much, but she doesn't hate it. the steps are easy enough that they're almost swaying and turning in place, she doesn't need to think too much about the steps or movements. it's strange to be doing nothing and doing something at once.
she makes no move to actually lead, comfortable enough to let cassian do all the work. ]
[ not just in dancing. he has jyn's back and he's had it for a while, even when he was telling himself not to. but this? this is easy. it's comfortable, easy swaying, and cassian feels... nice. relaxed. maybe even a little bit happy, the kind he knows comes from being with jyn. ]
[ dancing with jyn. maybe part of it comes from how much he feels trusted too, even in something as simple as swaying in the park with his best friend and knowing she's letting him lead. ]
[ "i've got you" is such a simple sentence, a simple idea, but it makes jyn feel warm all over and she isn't 100% sure that she knows why. it's nice, being part of a team.
she hums, but is content to exist in their quiet bubble for now, companionable silence while the music drifts in from the square. ]
[ they fall into quiet, but it isn't awkward. the quiet with jyn is always comfortable. there's no pressure to do anything but exist with each other, and he's so rarely had that with another person. the isolation of the park is perfect for them and this moment. ]
[ as they dance, he finds himself slipping in even closer, his hand resting warmly on the small of her back. his head lowers towards hers until his cheek is mere centimeters from the top of her head, and there's a very soft smile on his face. he took a chance asking her to dance, it paid off. ]
[ some emotions are easy for jyn to read (anger, frustration, their matching sorrow and loss) and some are harder (happiness, joy, love). jyn feels Something but she doesn't know... what it is.
whatever it is, it's warm and soft and a little bit scary, but she ignores it for now instead of trying to figure it out. she'll figure it out when the song is over. her eyes close and she doesn't even realize when her power reaches out of its own accord and pulls the water from the air, fat droplets hovering around them and reflecting off the setting sun like hundreds of tiny crystals. ]
[ it is warm, and he feels it too. it's a kind of warm that's been growing since they got here, maybe a little before, but he's not quite sure when he even realized it existed. it always seems to heat up in moments like these, maybe because he actually trusts and feels safe with her. maybe it is safety. ]
[ they match though. ]
[ he notices the water, and not because of the glow in her chest - somehow they've gotten too close for him to catch that first. it looks pretty, her power accentuating the peace of the dance. he doesn't want to draw attention to it, because he doesn't want it to stop, but his smile does deepen as they keep swaying through the end of the song. ]
[ the raindrops throw shimmery rainbows across them, coloured by the orange and pink and gold of the sun setting behind the massive skyscrapers, and jyn still doesn't notice, caught up in the comfort of being in cassian's arms.
it's different from the beach. not an embrace borne of desperation and solace, instead it is easy, almost effortless. there is nothing to stop them from parting, but nothing to stop them from carrying on indefinitely until one of them gave in to sleep either. there's no death star, no galaxy to fight and save in turn, no war on their doorstep, no death breathing down their necks and ticking away the moments until the reprieve of new amsterdam ended. they have all the time they want, an opulence jyn may never become used to.
but she is very but used to being in cassian's arms. the music stops, sliding into something faster and more exuberant, and she doesn't draw back but neither does she speed up to match the tune.
her eyes open, looking up to find cassian so very close, and abruptly the raindrops fall to the ground, sensation of water hitting her ankles making her startle in his arms. ]
[ it almost seems like a fake, fairytale sort of moment - between the colors and the soft music, the gentle way jyn leans into him. cassian isn't supposed to have moments like these, but here he is in one anyway, and he doesn't stop to think about how he doesn't deserve it. he just... lets it be, and lets himself be happy. that's the biggest thing jyn can probably sense from him right now - surprised but un-hidden happiness. ]
[ the music doesn't stop, it just switches, and he thinks she's going to pull back. but she doesn't, and he finds he has no complaints. ]
[ he looks down at her, and they're so close, but he still just feels... comfortable. and it's such a new feeling to be this physically close to another person and have no real need to back away. ]
There is another one playing.
[ not that he wants to dance any faster, but he doesn't have any inclination to let go of her yet, and he isn't interested in questioning why just yet either. he just wants to exist longer in this moment, like there isn't anything else but him and jyn and a song. ]
[ she doesn't know why she still isn't drawing back, but she feels so settled in his arms and she doesn't want to lose the warmth, both of his arms around her and bubbling in her chest. it feels itchy, making her skin feel tight because she can't place what it is. ]
I have heard worse. But it is not that good a song, no.
[ he wonders how long he can get away with keeping her close like this, because he doesn't want to wonder why he likes it so much. doesn't want to wonder why he always feels so safe and content in jyn's proximity, regardless of how much they're actually touching. ]
Doesn't make me miss cantina music, [ she agrees. that was the worst.
still she doesn't move out of his arms. she likes being there, she likes dancing with him, she likes...
fuck.
she likes him. for force's sake, daisy was right. when the hell had this happened! they were friends, sure, best mates. jyn would do anything for him, she loved spending time with him, but that's normal best friend... force. she's fucked. ]
[ he hums in amusement. ] Every cantina band thinks they are going to make it big.
[ he knows what she's going to say, but he doesn't want to finish her sentence. not even to be correct and beat her to it! 'we should stop,' only cassian still doesn't want to stop. ]
Start thinking about dinner, I know. [ haha, perfect, extend it. he knows she can call bullshit on it, but he finds that's half the fun. he offers her a small grin over it anyway, slowing down enough to give her the opportunity to pull back if she really wants to, but he isn't going to. ]
[ again. jyn doesn't need to think about dinner, she thought about dinner when she was eating lunch, dinner has been sorted out already before cassian even knew he was involved. burgers are her standby.
but it distracts her just enough to not stop dancing, a successful gambit. ]
Did you really think I didn't have it sorted already?
[ they literally just had burgers the other day, but there's a reason cassian packed up some patties and froze them, knowing jyn would want them again soon enough. he's almost mastered her eating patterns already. ]
[ it doesn't stop him from rolling his eyes. they're still dancing, he'll take it. ]
Did you sort out what you wanted on them already too?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I seem to recall you being a big part of that sacrifice too.
[ there, perfect, divert! ]
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Not when I was at Maz's castle.
[ so there. ]
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I am not going to argue with you against the Rebellion. I know it is important but it's...
[ but he still doesn't agree about his being good, too bad. ]
It is not something I want to talk about right now.
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[ jyn gives up easily, biding her time until she can push at him again. she'll have time to prove her point at a later date. jyn can be patient, even if she commonly chooses not to. ]
What do you want to do instead?
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[ but in the meantime he's just glad she respected what he wanted. he shoots her a half grin. ]
Dance with me?
[ he doesn't really know! where that comes from! except maybe it's the complete opposite of his feelings of self worth, so you know, a curve ball. but also... with the music softly echoing in the park, he finds it's genuine. he wants to dance with jyn, so there. he doesn't want to overthink it, and she makes that easier. ]
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Alright.
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[ but she agrees easily, munching on her grape and cassian finds he wants to dance with her even more when she wipes the mess away. he puffs out an amused sound, climbing off the swing and holding out his hand without thinking. ]
Okay.
[ if (when) she takes it, she'd get a sense of that surprise but also just how pleased he is that she agreed, burying his poor sense of self worth. ]
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as usual, jyn feels the familiar warmth of being with cassian, he is her best friend and it feels nice. ]
I haven't danced since my Coruscanti finishing school years, [ she warns sarcastically. the truth is that she has not danced since her father spun her around the kitchen on lah'mu and she doesn't fully remember that. maybe it was her imagination and not a real memory. ]
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I never said it had to be a good dance. [ though it'll be good by default since it exists. he pulls her in a little as he moves them away from the swings, giving them the room for more. ]
I am not sure much of anything stuck around from those lessons. [ ayyy! he takes her other hand to his shoulder, settling his at her waist. ] I can fake it, we will be fine.
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I know how to use cutlery, I choose not to.
[ that might be a bit of a lie, but she would have learned that in some absurd school for deportment! which she clearly attended. ]
You're meant to lead, aren't you?
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[ her arm drops onto his and he lets it, merely adjusting his own position to better hold it up. they fit nicely. neatly. comfortably. he starts to move them to the music, and even in that it seems almost seamless. ]
Yes. We can switch, but I imagine it would be hard for you to lead if you do not know the steps.
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[ they're not doing much, but she doesn't hate it. the steps are easy enough that they're almost swaying and turning in place, she doesn't need to think too much about the steps or movements. it's strange to be doing nothing and doing something at once.
she makes no move to actually lead, comfortable enough to let cassian do all the work. ]
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[ not just in dancing. he has jyn's back and he's had it for a while, even when he was telling himself not to. but this? this is easy. it's comfortable, easy swaying, and cassian feels... nice. relaxed. maybe even a little bit happy, the kind he knows comes from being with jyn. ]
[ dancing with jyn. maybe part of it comes from how much he feels trusted too, even in something as simple as swaying in the park with his best friend and knowing she's letting him lead. ]
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she hums, but is content to exist in their quiet bubble for now, companionable silence while the music drifts in from the square. ]
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[ as they dance, he finds himself slipping in even closer, his hand resting warmly on the small of her back. his head lowers towards hers until his cheek is mere centimeters from the top of her head, and there's a very soft smile on his face. he took a chance asking her to dance, it paid off. ]
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whatever it is, it's warm and soft and a little bit scary, but she ignores it for now instead of trying to figure it out. she'll figure it out when the song is over. her eyes close and she doesn't even realize when her power reaches out of its own accord and pulls the water from the air, fat droplets hovering around them and reflecting off the setting sun like hundreds of tiny crystals. ]
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[ they match though. ]
[ he notices the water, and not because of the glow in her chest - somehow they've gotten too close for him to catch that first. it looks pretty, her power accentuating the peace of the dance. he doesn't want to draw attention to it, because he doesn't want it to stop, but his smile does deepen as they keep swaying through the end of the song. ]
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it's different from the beach. not an embrace borne of desperation and solace, instead it is easy, almost effortless. there is nothing to stop them from parting, but nothing to stop them from carrying on indefinitely until one of them gave in to sleep either. there's no death star, no galaxy to fight and save in turn, no war on their doorstep, no death breathing down their necks and ticking away the moments until the reprieve of new amsterdam ended. they have all the time they want, an opulence jyn may never become used to.
but she is very but used to being in cassian's arms. the music stops, sliding into something faster and more exuberant, and she doesn't draw back but neither does she speed up to match the tune.
her eyes open, looking up to find cassian so very close, and abruptly the raindrops fall to the ground, sensation of water hitting her ankles making her startle in his arms. ]
Song's over.
[ still not moving. ]
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[ the music doesn't stop, it just switches, and he thinks she's going to pull back. but she doesn't, and he finds he has no complaints. ]
[ he looks down at her, and they're so close, but he still just feels... comfortable. and it's such a new feeling to be this physically close to another person and have no real need to back away. ]
There is another one playing.
[ not that he wants to dance any faster, but he doesn't have any inclination to let go of her yet, and he isn't interested in questioning why just yet either. he just wants to exist longer in this moment, like there isn't anything else but him and jyn and a song. ]
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[ she doesn't know why she still isn't drawing back, but she feels so settled in his arms and she doesn't want to lose the warmth, both of his arms around her and bubbling in her chest. it feels itchy, making her skin feel tight because she can't place what it is. ]
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I have heard worse. But it is not that good a song, no.
[ he wonders how long he can get away with keeping her close like this, because he doesn't want to wonder why he likes it so much. doesn't want to wonder why he always feels so safe and content in jyn's proximity, regardless of how much they're actually touching. ]
[ but he will be glad she said yes to dancing. ]
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still she doesn't move out of his arms. she likes being there, she likes dancing with him, she likes...
fuck.
she likes him. for force's sake, daisy was right. when the hell had this happened! they were friends, sure, best mates. jyn would do anything for him, she loved spending time with him, but that's normal best friend... force. she's fucked. ]
We should...
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[ he knows what she's going to say, but he doesn't want to finish her sentence. not even to be correct and beat her to it! 'we should stop,' only cassian still doesn't want to stop. ]
Start thinking about dinner, I know. [ haha, perfect, extend it. he knows she can call bullshit on it, but he finds that's half the fun. he offers her a small grin over it anyway, slowing down enough to give her the opportunity to pull back if she really wants to, but he isn't going to. ]
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[ again. jyn doesn't need to think about dinner, she thought about dinner when she was eating lunch, dinner has been sorted out already before cassian even knew he was involved. burgers are her standby.
but it distracts her just enough to not stop dancing, a successful gambit. ]
Did you really think I didn't have it sorted already?
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[ it doesn't stop him from rolling his eyes. they're still dancing, he'll take it. ]
Did you sort out what you wanted on them already too?
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