[ some funny feeling twists in jyn's gut. disappointment or... longing? something strange and unfamiliar. it must be disappointment. of course she would be disappointed, cassian is very dear to her and it would have been nice to have known someone for a while that didn't up and die on her.
maybe it would have changed a lot of things, maybe it wouldn't have changed anything at all.
[ it's a similar twist that goes through his too. the galaxy is large and expansive and there are so many planets, but the possibility that they both existed on the same one, before meeting at yavin 4? he doesn't know what to make of that. ]
[ he could have known her longer. ]
Not unless Maz herself shows up here too. She seems like the kind of person who would remember us both.
the diminutive little woman had told jyn stories of her reckless youth (whilst jyn was in the prime of hers) and let her work around the castle for a little pocket credit and pretended not to notice when jyn spent those credits hustling sabacc tables for more credits.
[ he came through her castle under more than one name, but she always gave him the same exact nod and always used the correct pseudonym. he wonders what maz might have said if he and jyn had shown up at the same time. ]
[ she apparently knew them both, and she never forgets a face. ]
I am not honestly sure I would even want to know.
[ he kind of just assumes she could see Right Through Him to all the bad things. ]
[ jyn wants to know what secrets maz would spill about cassian andor, how deep into his soul she would go to lay it out on the table for them. she read jyn like a god damn book. ]
[ jyn's eyebrows jump up a bit, countering cassian's wry expression with a disbelieving one of her own. ]
She didn't want war in her home, that doesn't mean she was neutral in her opinion of the Empire. [ she shrugs, pressing her toes into the ground to push off and swing a bit more. ] Besides, she knows a good man when she sees one.
For someone who is incredibly smart, Cassian, you can be kind of a moron.
[ my guy. ]
Everything you did was to bring peace and freedom to the galaxy, not the so called peace the Empire pretended they gave us. Our galaxy would still be oppressed by the Empire without you -- not even a fucking Jedi could have ended the war without what you sacrificed.
[ without what they sacrificed, what they all sacrificed. they needed those plans and cassian got them. ]
[ he gets the sense she is ready to throw down with him about this, but he's not sure he wants to have this conversation right now?? cassian's feelings about himself are difficult and complicated and not happy ones and he doesn't want to unpack that in a park on some swings when he just wanted to sit in the quiet and enjoy time with jyn! time they weren't supposed to even have, thanks to the aforementioned sacrifice. ]
I seem to recall you being a big part of that sacrifice too.
[ jyn seems to recall cassian being in this fight since he was six years old. she doesn't throw his own words back in his face because she is an asshole, but not a fucking asshole. ]
[ jyn gives up easily, biding her time until she can push at him again. she'll have time to prove her point at a later date. jyn can be patient, even if she commonly chooses not to. ]
[ he relaxes when she gives up, shoulders sinking with the relief of it. he knows it's going to come up again simply because jyn is stubborn as shit and this is an argument he suspects she doesn't want to lose (though really, all of them, jyn wants to win all of them). ]
[ but in the meantime he's just glad she respected what he wanted. he shoots her a half grin. ]
Dance with me?
[ he doesn't really know! where that comes from! except maybe it's the complete opposite of his feelings of self worth, so you know, a curve ball. but also... with the music softly echoing in the park, he finds it's genuine. he wants to dance with jyn, so there. he doesn't want to overthink it, and she makes that easier. ]
[ jyn nibbles on one of her fruits, looking up at cassian when he asks her to dance with a grape halfway between her teeth. she bites down and grape juice dribbles down her chin, necessitating she wipe it off with her arm because she is a mannerless heathen. ]
[ he pauses for a second, startled, because part of him was expecting an argument. he even had counterpoints at the ready to convince her - it's isolated, it's quiet, daring her to play up the challenge of it. ]
[ but she agrees easily, munching on her grape and cassian finds he wants to dance with her even more when she wipes the mess away. he puffs out an amused sound, climbing off the swing and holding out his hand without thinking. ]
Okay.
[ if (when) she takes it, she'd get a sense of that surprise but also just how pleased he is that she agreed, burying his poor sense of self worth. ]
[ jyn pushes her heels against the ground to stop before taking cassian's hand, carefully setting the small plate of food on the swing before... she shoves the last piece of cake in her mouth at once. maybe jyn is part chipmunk, hoarding food for winter.
as usual, jyn feels the familiar warmth of being with cassian, he is her best friend and it feels nice. ]
I haven't danced since my Coruscanti finishing school years, [ she warns sarcastically. the truth is that she has not danced since her father spun her around the kitchen on lah'mu and she doesn't fully remember that. maybe it was her imagination and not a real memory. ]
[ he's gotten used to that warmness from her. sometimes he finds himself seeking it out, because it's become a comfortable familiar feeling for him too. he squeezes her hand briefly, still smiling even if it's mild, like he's restraining it in all the ways he's too used to restraining himself. ]
I never said it had to be a good dance. [ though it'll be good by default since it exists. he pulls her in a little as he moves them away from the swings, giving them the room for more. ]
I am not sure much of anything stuck around from those lessons. [ ayyy! he takes her other hand to his shoulder, settling his at her waist. ] I can fake it, we will be fine.
[ jyn lets him shift her into place, making a face at him even as she moves in a bit closer so her arm doesn't feel so weird hovering in the air. by the time she decides that she is comfortable, jyn is very much in his space, her fingers drumming against his shoulder, her arm resting across his. she's close enough now that the soft blue glow is nearly hidden between them. ]
I know how to use cutlery, I choose not to.
[ that might be a bit of a lie, but she would have learned that in some absurd school for deportment! which she clearly attended. ]
[ he half laughs again. has he never seen jyn use a fork, like ever? in the entire time he's known her? which (he has to keep reminding himself) isn't actually that long? he honestly can't remember. ]
[ her arm drops onto his and he lets it, merely adjusting his own position to better hold it up. they fit nicely. neatly. comfortably. he starts to move them to the music, and even in that it seems almost seamless. ]
Yes. We can switch, but I imagine it would be hard for you to lead if you do not know the steps.
[ they're not doing much, but she doesn't hate it. the steps are easy enough that they're almost swaying and turning in place, she doesn't need to think too much about the steps or movements. it's strange to be doing nothing and doing something at once.
she makes no move to actually lead, comfortable enough to let cassian do all the work. ]
[ not just in dancing. he has jyn's back and he's had it for a while, even when he was telling himself not to. but this? this is easy. it's comfortable, easy swaying, and cassian feels... nice. relaxed. maybe even a little bit happy, the kind he knows comes from being with jyn. ]
[ dancing with jyn. maybe part of it comes from how much he feels trusted too, even in something as simple as swaying in the park with his best friend and knowing she's letting him lead. ]
[ "i've got you" is such a simple sentence, a simple idea, but it makes jyn feel warm all over and she isn't 100% sure that she knows why. it's nice, being part of a team.
she hums, but is content to exist in their quiet bubble for now, companionable silence while the music drifts in from the square. ]
[ they fall into quiet, but it isn't awkward. the quiet with jyn is always comfortable. there's no pressure to do anything but exist with each other, and he's so rarely had that with another person. the isolation of the park is perfect for them and this moment. ]
[ as they dance, he finds himself slipping in even closer, his hand resting warmly on the small of her back. his head lowers towards hers until his cheek is mere centimeters from the top of her head, and there's a very soft smile on his face. he took a chance asking her to dance, it paid off. ]
[ some emotions are easy for jyn to read (anger, frustration, their matching sorrow and loss) and some are harder (happiness, joy, love). jyn feels Something but she doesn't know... what it is.
whatever it is, it's warm and soft and a little bit scary, but she ignores it for now instead of trying to figure it out. she'll figure it out when the song is over. her eyes close and she doesn't even realize when her power reaches out of its own accord and pulls the water from the air, fat droplets hovering around them and reflecting off the setting sun like hundreds of tiny crystals. ]
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[ some funny feeling twists in jyn's gut. disappointment or... longing? something strange and unfamiliar. it must be disappointment. of course she would be disappointed, cassian is very dear to her and it would have been nice to have known someone for a while that didn't up and die on her.
maybe it would have changed a lot of things, maybe it wouldn't have changed anything at all.
but it would have been more than a week. ]
Guess we'll never know for sure.
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[ he could have known her longer. ]
Not unless Maz herself shows up here too. She seems like the kind of person who would remember us both.
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the diminutive little woman had told jyn stories of her reckless youth (whilst jyn was in the prime of hers) and let her work around the castle for a little pocket credit and pretended not to notice when jyn spent those credits hustling sabacc tables for more credits.
no one could prove she cheated. ]
I wonder what she would say about you.
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[ she apparently knew them both, and she never forgets a face. ]
I am not honestly sure I would even want to know.
[ he kind of just assumes she could see Right Through Him to all the bad things. ]
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[ jyn wants to know what secrets maz would spill about cassian andor, how deep into his soul she would go to lay it out on the table for them. she read jyn like a god damn book. ]
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Nothing good. I suppose she would recognize what I am fighting for in the rebellion at least.
[ why would maz have anything good to say about him tbh! ]
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[ jyn's eyebrows jump up a bit, countering cassian's wry expression with a disbelieving one of her own. ]
She didn't want war in her home, that doesn't mean she was neutral in her opinion of the Empire. [ she shrugs, pressing her toes into the ground to push off and swing a bit more. ] Besides, she knows a good man when she sees one.
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[ he huffs a little bit, looking down at his plate instead of her. ]
I just do not think she would have seen one of those in me.
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[ my guy. ]
Everything you did was to bring peace and freedom to the galaxy, not the so called peace the Empire pretended they gave us. Our galaxy would still be oppressed by the Empire without you -- not even a fucking Jedi could have ended the war without what you sacrificed.
[ without what they sacrificed, what they all sacrificed. they needed those plans and cassian got them. ]
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I seem to recall you being a big part of that sacrifice too.
[ there, perfect, divert! ]
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Not when I was at Maz's castle.
[ so there. ]
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I am not going to argue with you against the Rebellion. I know it is important but it's...
[ but he still doesn't agree about his being good, too bad. ]
It is not something I want to talk about right now.
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[ jyn gives up easily, biding her time until she can push at him again. she'll have time to prove her point at a later date. jyn can be patient, even if she commonly chooses not to. ]
What do you want to do instead?
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[ but in the meantime he's just glad she respected what he wanted. he shoots her a half grin. ]
Dance with me?
[ he doesn't really know! where that comes from! except maybe it's the complete opposite of his feelings of self worth, so you know, a curve ball. but also... with the music softly echoing in the park, he finds it's genuine. he wants to dance with jyn, so there. he doesn't want to overthink it, and she makes that easier. ]
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Alright.
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[ but she agrees easily, munching on her grape and cassian finds he wants to dance with her even more when she wipes the mess away. he puffs out an amused sound, climbing off the swing and holding out his hand without thinking. ]
Okay.
[ if (when) she takes it, she'd get a sense of that surprise but also just how pleased he is that she agreed, burying his poor sense of self worth. ]
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as usual, jyn feels the familiar warmth of being with cassian, he is her best friend and it feels nice. ]
I haven't danced since my Coruscanti finishing school years, [ she warns sarcastically. the truth is that she has not danced since her father spun her around the kitchen on lah'mu and she doesn't fully remember that. maybe it was her imagination and not a real memory. ]
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I never said it had to be a good dance. [ though it'll be good by default since it exists. he pulls her in a little as he moves them away from the swings, giving them the room for more. ]
I am not sure much of anything stuck around from those lessons. [ ayyy! he takes her other hand to his shoulder, settling his at her waist. ] I can fake it, we will be fine.
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I know how to use cutlery, I choose not to.
[ that might be a bit of a lie, but she would have learned that in some absurd school for deportment! which she clearly attended. ]
You're meant to lead, aren't you?
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[ her arm drops onto his and he lets it, merely adjusting his own position to better hold it up. they fit nicely. neatly. comfortably. he starts to move them to the music, and even in that it seems almost seamless. ]
Yes. We can switch, but I imagine it would be hard for you to lead if you do not know the steps.
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[ they're not doing much, but she doesn't hate it. the steps are easy enough that they're almost swaying and turning in place, she doesn't need to think too much about the steps or movements. it's strange to be doing nothing and doing something at once.
she makes no move to actually lead, comfortable enough to let cassian do all the work. ]
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[ not just in dancing. he has jyn's back and he's had it for a while, even when he was telling himself not to. but this? this is easy. it's comfortable, easy swaying, and cassian feels... nice. relaxed. maybe even a little bit happy, the kind he knows comes from being with jyn. ]
[ dancing with jyn. maybe part of it comes from how much he feels trusted too, even in something as simple as swaying in the park with his best friend and knowing she's letting him lead. ]
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she hums, but is content to exist in their quiet bubble for now, companionable silence while the music drifts in from the square. ]
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[ as they dance, he finds himself slipping in even closer, his hand resting warmly on the small of her back. his head lowers towards hers until his cheek is mere centimeters from the top of her head, and there's a very soft smile on his face. he took a chance asking her to dance, it paid off. ]
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whatever it is, it's warm and soft and a little bit scary, but she ignores it for now instead of trying to figure it out. she'll figure it out when the song is over. her eyes close and she doesn't even realize when her power reaches out of its own accord and pulls the water from the air, fat droplets hovering around them and reflecting off the setting sun like hundreds of tiny crystals. ]
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