open ✧ the time to fight is now

[realists]

☒ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴsᴘᴀᴍ ☒ ᴘʀᴏsᴇ ☒ ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs ☒ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅʟʏ ☒ ᴏᴠᴇʀғʟᴏᴡ

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[realists]

Maybe. [ she's willing to lay down at the very least, shifting over so he can stretch out first. ]

[ouzel]

[ He doesn't know if it'll work, but he figures they have little to lose. It's not as though they aren't both familiar with nightmares, and they certainly need rest.

Stretching out is easier said than done but he manages it, laying alongside her, blanket up to his shoulders. ]

[realists]

[ what if...

jyn is totally the big spoon?

because she is right now, slotting herself neatly behind him and looping her arm around his waist like he is her own personal teddy bear, resting her forehead against the back of his neck. her hand searches around on the bed for a moment before catching his fingers with her own. ]

[ouzel]

[ Some quiet, satisfied little sound escapes from Cassian's lips when Jyn takes his hand, and he squeezes hers. His other arm ends up tucked beneath his head, and he tries to let sleep slide over him.

It does. For a little while, anyway. ]

[realists]

[ jyn fights sleep every step of the way so when it takes her she's exhausted and can't fight any longer. it also means she is too tired to fight nightmares and so cassian has to deal with her unconscious thrashing until she wakes up with a start. ]

[ouzel]

[ He's awake as soon as she starts moving (he dreamed he took the shot at Galen, that she saw and shot him in return, and that she died on that beach alone) but doesn't say anything, just turns to face her and tries to avoid getting a black eye, instead putting his hand behind her neck and pressing his forehead to hers, whispering her name until she wakes up. ]

[realists]

[ her eyes snap open with a shuddering breath that leads into the shaky breaths of trying to get a hold of herself. her hand lifts to curl tightly around her crystal, knuckles white. she calms exponentially faster next to him. the first few days of separate beds were horrible. ] I'm okay.

[ouzel]

Do you want to talk about it? [ His voice is quiet, muffled by sleep and concern. He rarely, if ever, talked about his nightmares with Kay, but this is different. They're different.

Either way, he won't push. ]

[realists]

Lah'mu. [ she frowns, shifting to bury her face against his chest. ] Krennic, he... [ well, he knows. krennic murdered her mother. ]

I saw it.

[ouzel]

[ He knew what Krennic had done, but he hadn't realized that Jyn bore witness to it. Automatically he's holding her, one hand smoothing her hair, the other at her back.]

I'm so sorry.

[ So glad he shot the bastard. ]

[realists]

I'm still angry with her. [ there's a breath of a scoff, like she finds herself absurd. ] Papa told us to go and we were on our way to the hiding place when she stopped. She gave me my necklace and told me to keep going but I didn't listen. I followed her and I hid.

Papa tried to stop her but Krennic had Death Troopers. [ a shudder runs down her entire body. ] And she pulled a blaster on him.

[ she doesn't finish the story because it's self-explanatory. jyn hadn't heard their conversation, she didn't know why her mother fired, all she saw was the flash of light and her mother's body crumple, her father rushing over to cradle her. and then she ran. ]

[ouzel]

[ Cassian lets out a heavy breath. He can understand that love drives people to do desperate things, but to leave Jyn on her own? To fire on a man with a firing squad with him? How else did she think that would end?

He can't begin to imagine what sort of choice that would be, to pick between a spouse and a child, except. Well. An adult has a better chance of survival.

So there is that.

He still doesn't know what to say. What could be enough? ]

I wish there was something I could say that would make it better.

[realists]

You can be angry with her, too. [ some solidarity would be nice so here she is trying to convince him to be mad at a stranger. ]

[ouzel]

She left you alone instead of seeing you to safety, how can I not be angry at that?

[realists]

She was protecting my father. [ jyn can understand that now, especially having faced krennic herself thinking that cassian was dead and that the man in white taken everything from her. if she'd had a blaster then she would have pulled it on him the way her mother had.

but it doesn't erase over a decade of grief and anger. hers has softened some with so much more loss, but sometimes she can still feel the anger with her parents flare up like the shockwave of the death star. ]

[ouzel]

I understand that. [ Cassian shakes his head. ] But in her position, I don't think I would've tried to shoot Krennic alone.

[realists]

[ it's telling as to how much like her troublemaking mother jyn really is that... she completely would. if it were cassian? she would have shot krennic in a heartbeat. she tried and cassian held her back. ]

Ersos aren't known for their good judgement.

[ouzel]

Ersos are known for their passions, you mean.

[ He's not going to tell her she has poor judgement. Poor impulse control, maybe. ]

[realists]

Stupidity, [ she corrects. ]

[ouzel]

You're a lot of things, Jyn, but I don't believe stupid is one of them.

[realists]

[ sleepily: ] You're stupid, too.

[ouzel]

[ He kisses her forehead. ] Sometimes.

[realists]

[ she hums a little noise of amusement and victory. ] You shot Krennic. [ thank you ]

[ouzel]

I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner. [ Sorry he almost died on her, sorry she thought she had to do it alone. ]

[realists]

Soon enough. You finished what my parents started. [ she's clearly hit a point where sleep is more likely than not, but she fights it every step of the way. ] Papa would be proud of you, too.