realists | open ✧ the time to fight is now

If she is honest with herself, which Jyn tries not to be, she would agree that she is as happy. As it is she lingers in the kiss, not finding any reason to argue or bicker when she could instead focus on being cocooned in warmth and a soft press of lips and the affection swelling in her chest.

He is a good man, however much he would beg to differ, and Jyn probably loves him. She definitely loves him. It had been an almost on Scarif. A could have been, if there was time, if they'd been given a chance. They were and, on Hoth of all places, that almost turned into a maybe turned into a definitely and if Cassian wants to stay in bed stealing her blankets and offering her reparations in the form of kisses, well she definitely isn't going to complain.

There's a first time for everything, isn't there?

When he first met Jyn, she was so closed off, that lock and key a part of survival he recognized in himself. It got easier to read her over time, and right now - even though she'd never say so - he can tell she's happy too. It's enough knowing he's the cause that makes him want to deepen the kiss, because Cassian Andor is stupidly in love.

He saw the potential on Scarif. He knew he could love her. It's risky in the Rebellion, but everything is, and he's used to taking risks. When he used to come back from missions, he would be thinking about the next before he even reached his bed.

Now when he finds his bed, Jyn is already there and he wants to stay there with her.

And kiss her. He definitely wants to kiss her too, all the time. It's a strange feeling. He never let himself feel so strongly before.

Welcome home, he told her once, and she smiled at him. "Welcome home," he tells her again, this time against her mouth but still with a smile.

Her only answer is a happy little hum, stretching her hand out to curl around the back of his neck to make sure he can't escape when she kisses him again. If she'd acted on any of these feelings before, maybe she would feel less like she's going to explode from the taste of him.

Eventually, "Thank you."

Because home isn't a place anymore, is it? She's not sure it every really has been, she moved around too often for that, and the Rebellion certainly isn't her home the way it's Cassian's. But these arms around her, this teasing over stolen blankets, her toothbrush next to his: that's home. It's very specific and she wants nothing left.

As if any single part of him even wants to escape. The Rebellion exists all around him all the time, but right here it's just him and Jyn and the small space left between them. Jyn is an idea of home he'd long abandoned for himself, because thinking about the future is dangerous.

Thank you, she says, and it feels like such a small and large thing at the same time. An acknowledgement of the same.

I love you, he thinks as he kisses her, pressing in closer and trying to pretend he's not terrified by the strength of the feeling by diving forward anyway. He wants to breathe in it instead, chase after her mouth and drown in the taste of her. Of home.

Jyn is happy to tangle herself up in him and the blankets, but eventually she pulls back with a soft little gasp and wrenches the blanket from over them, breathing in the cool air outside their nest of blankets. It's not cold, but it feels like she's being slapped in the face by the chill.

"This isn't going to be how I welcome you home from every mission." Yes, it will be. It definitely will be. This is going to be how she welcomes him home from being out of the room for twelve minutes.

Cassian lets out a breath of a laugh when she uncovers them, already missing the warmth but with no sign of complaints. They're still tangled together, even if the blankets aren't a total cocoon.

"That's a disappointment," he says, trying not to grin and failing utterly. She's probably lying. He brushes his thumb over her cheek again. "Because I would not complain if you did."

"Oh I wouldn't doubt it," Jyn retorts, all but sticking her tongue out. After a second she actually sticks her tongue out because Jyn Erso is an Actual Grown Adult who makes Actual Grown Adult Decisions.

"But I am curious, how you would welcome me home."

"Can you blame me?" The best reaction to her sticking her tongue out is clearly just to steal another kiss. A quick one. With a dumb smile. Before sticking his tongue out right back at her. #Adults.

"I thought I already did." He raises an eyebrow. He said it, didn't he?? "Assuming you ever left the nest to begin with, I can't really think of a better way than this." A beat. "Maybe food too, if we were hungry."

The ease with which he returns her childish behavior makes her grin, giving him a little shove, lifting her hand pressed against his warm chest. Personal space heater in the shape of Cassian is her favorite kind of space heater and she is constantly marveling at how warm he is. Admittedly, she is always cold so it's more likely that while hot, he is just a reasonable temperature.

"I could stand to eat though. The mess hall has been boring without Bodhi complaining about how bland everything is."

He's never been great with physical contact, but he likes when Jyn touches him. It's personal in a way that isn't scary. If she's going to get even more touchy-feely from here on out, he doesn't care how differently she welcomes him home, as long as she just does.

"I am starving." Realistically Cassian could have stopped to grab something to eat before he came back to his room, but, well, Jyn was there, and he kind of wanted to see her more. "You cannot take the blankets with you if we go, but we should pick up Bodhi along the way."

"I'll wear your coat." If she can't take the blankets she will take his coat. (He said she was free to use it, those were words he said to her and she will not forget them.)

She also doesn't budge for a bit, she's very comfortable.

"You're going to make me freeze?" He's only partially teasing. Cassian isn't a fan of the cold either, but it doesn't make him as grumpy as it does Jyn. He really needs to get her a good parka of her own, even though he knows very well half of the reason she steals his coat is because it's his.

He also shows no sign of of moving. He won't until she does, so they may be at an impasse for now. Not that he's complaining.

♪ already home -- a great big world

"You'll be fine. You're hot."

God, is he ever.

She leans in and kisses him again, fingers curling against his shirt and pulling herself up against him all over again. Her whispered murmur would be inaudible if she weren't whispering against his mouth.

"I should have done that on Scarif."

He snorts. "Even when I'm cold?"

Cassian kisses her back easily, his hand slipping down to cradle her waist to keep her there when she pulls herself against him. He smiles as she speaks and kisses her again, feeling warm. "I suppose I can forgive you for waiting."

It was there for the taking on Scarif, but he likes it now. It feels more lasting than the finality there would have been before.

One finger traces the collar of his shirt, thoughtful.

"You waited, too." For the record, because she feels it's worth noting that he waited for her to act. He could have kissed her, but he didn't. So he can take his forgiveness and stuff it.

(Not that she thinks he is being serious.)

He recognizes she isn't being serious about it either, and a grin touches his face. Especially with the way she traces his shirt. "I was going to. I was thinking about it. You just beat me to it."

Which is as true as it is continuing the lack of seriousness teasing train.

"Well," she hums, as if thinking real hard. "I didn't want to say anything but you are a bit slow on the uptake."

Sure he is, Jyn. Cassian is slow. Yup.

He raises one skeptical eyebrow. "Pot, meet kettle. I have definitely tried to make a move several times to no avail."

Maybe they were subtle moves, but they still totally count.

"I don't recall these moves." That's a lie. There have been plenty of almosts in their relationship, but they were only almosts. Not that she minds. Right now all she would mind would be an interruption. Not even the Force will be able to stop her from decking anyone if they walk through that door.

Except Bodhi because she could never hurt Bodhi, but boy oh boy she would yell.

"Feel free to illuminate me on your efforts, Captain."

"If you don't recall them, it's no surprise they didn't work."

He's sure she's aware of some of them. The way she looked at him sometimes made him so positive he wasn't crossing any boundaries, but every single almost never felt like the right moment.

He smiles at her. "Maybe I'll want to recycle them for the future and see if they work with some tweaking."

"They don't need to work anymore," she reminds him, giving him a shove with the hand that was just resting against his chest. It's really just an excuse to keep her hand there because she still feels like she needs excuses. "They've already worked."

Not all the way, Erso.

His face looks a smidgen startled for one brief moment, before his smile comes back, quieter this time. She can keep touching him all she wants tbh, he loves it. It makes him feel grounded. She wouldn't do it if she didn't want to.

He moves his hand, resting it on top of hers to keep it there against him. "So what you're saying is I built up to this, even if you didn't notice all of them."

Refusing to give in and give him all the credit she's currently giving herself, Jyn shakes her head. Her hand twists enough to thread her fingers through his, squeezing gently. "Come on, I'm hungry."

She says this, but then pulls his hand toward her, twisting her arm back behind her so that his arm loops around her back and she winds up pressed against him again. She kisses his nose.

He squeezes back, like it's a careless and easy response. Her palm is just as rough as his.

When she doesn't move at all, not even for food, he can't help but grin a little, especially when she puts herself in so close. His arm slides around her without hesitation, settling in almost perfectly, and he wrinkles his nose when she kisses it. The best response, clearly, is to tilt his head just enough to kiss her forehead. "You're always hungry."

The affection is so easy, so simple, so casual, that Jyn feels like she's going vibrate right out of her skin. Blood and guts would be easier to handle anyway, she thinks.

"And you always convince me to get up for breakfast." So can't he convince her to get out of bed now, too? Maybe. He's going to have to anyway as she stomach gurgles insistently. She ignores it.

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plays ophelia by the lumineers

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