[ there's no reason the romance can't continue after, can't continue up on the bed - it's still part of his plan, even if he has to say herb to accomplish it. but he has the chance to do something good and nice for jyn now, to bask a little longer in this particular comfortable haze of happy and want. ]
[ she wants this too, he can feel it; it's strange not to check in with words for it, but it's in the brush of her skin to his clear as day. it's a moment to be selfish, and jyn deserves nice things. like orgasms. ]
I think the first one is more applicable to me alone. You like when anyone is wrong. [ he kisses her again, biting at her lip while he slides a finger inside her; it already feels like so much more than he expected, even for him from all the emotion between them, but he starts to fuck her with his hand, eager to make her sound even more breathless. ]
[ so much. cassian is so competent at so many things, she absolutely adores when he is wrong. competency is very, very attractive -- and it is infuriating that he is so good at this as well -- but his fallibility is what makes her feel at home in his arms. she loves all his imperfections.
even that he says herb incorrectly.
sh puffs a harsh breath, unashamedly directing his fingers where she needs them. the spike of excitement she feels rolling through him at her bitten out demands makes her feel bolder in her demands, however stuttering her breathing has become.]
I want to put my mouth on your cock. I want to know how you taste, what sounds you make when I'm going down on you.
[ cassian laughs against her mouth, of course she likes when he's wrong. it's what makes him never want to be wrong, out of spite. but he's more than happy to take direction from her. he might be good at this, but only because he listens and he learns and it's better to follow her guidance until he knows for sure. good thing he's a quick learner. ]
I like when you make that noise. [ what noise? any noise! doesn't matter, he likes listening to the sounds he's drawing from her. ]
[ he full body shudders when she makes her other demand, unable to hide the surge of want that rushes over him, but following behind that very quickly is confusion. confusion and a little reluctance, and he doesn't understand why she wants to do it, but he doesn't want to talk about his own feelings so it's time for turnabout round two. ]
One day I am going down on you. [ he punctuates this with a careful curl in his fingers, hoping to distract her from her request by using two now to fuck her while his thumb finds her clit. ] But other things come first.
[ stubborn to the last, jyn clamps her legs together, trapping cassian's hand in a vise so he can't move it. his fingers can still move but with far less freedom of movement. she struggles some with grounding herself enough to argue. ]
Will you let me?
[ a crease sprouts between her eyebrows, speaking to a thread of concern. ]
[ cassian stills his hand the moment she clamps down, suddenly worried maybe there's a new line he crossed, but she isn't interested in stopping him. just pausing because she's still stuck on giving him a blowjob. ]
[ he recognizes the concern on her face via expression before feeling and tests just how much he can still move his fingers to push off answering. he still doesn't want to answer, so he just keeps at it, albeit more quietly so. ]
Not tonight. [ her face, her voice, the rise and fall of her chest, they all make it difficult for him to deny her outright, but he knows he can't quite agree right now either. maybe he can deflect a little too. ] Ask me again when I am not just thinking about being inside you.
[ the set of her mouth usually comes before an argument, she wants to argue because it is in her nature and he is being evasive and she doesn't like that! she wants to argue, but she wants cassian to have his perfect, romantic first time more.
she can argue after. ]
Okay.
[ her legs relax, giving him space to work again, and she seems to accept his demurring as innocent, but there is a lingering sense of concern and doubt. she has no qualms continuing where they left off, but she is skeptical of his answer and she is going to dig deep into that when this is all over. ]
Say herb and you won't have to only think about it.
[ he can tell she is not going to let this go from the tiny undercurrent of concern, but he is just going to conveniently ignore that! she's frowning like she wants to argue, but she does open up her legs again, so he leans in to kiss her, hoping to wipe it off her face. maybe he can just kiss her and make her forget!! ]
[ fat chance but he can at least put it off a little longer. ]
I am a little busy. [ as if to prove his point he starts working his fingers all over again, following what she'd directed of him earlier. he ducks his head to kiss along her jaw, her neck, and it is only half to hide his face from their prior conversation. ] I like thinking about it. I will like it more later, but it is not a bad picture for now. Fake words can come later too, you can come first.
[ of course she wants to keep arguing, half out of stubborn spite, and she thinks she could keep pushing until cassian answers her but then he kisses her and she selfishly gives in, trying to relax enough to find her way back from being rejected.
no, he hadn't rejected her. his fingers are inside her, for kriff's sake, that isn't rejection, but it lingers in the back of her mind even as the enthusiastic movement of his fingers tries to wipe her mind clear entirely. ]
[ he can still feel her concern, but the way she says it sends a shudder down his spine and force does he want her. he knows this conversation is not over, but he wants to do exactly what she ordered and make her come. even though it was always his goal, his desire for it builds tenfold from the challenge. he crowds up closer into her space, trying to drown away the tension he can feel from her with his own eagerness. ]
[ he feels that tiny little speck of rejection, and that's it. that's what this is. he doesn't want his own inadequacies to make her feel rejected in any way, because there's nothing he wants more than her. he lifts his head and kisses her hard, like he's trying to prove his own feelings as though she can't feel them too. it's biting and soft somehow at once, and his hand moves deftly between her legs. he is taking her order to heart with almost reckless enthusiasm. ]
I am not rejecting you. [ he says it quietly, shifting to kiss along her jaw in case she wants that little bit of privacy, as though he isn't neatly pressed on top of her and literally inside her. ] There is so much more I want to do with you, Jyn. Tonight, tomorrow, the day after. I want you so much.
[ the kiss is so sudden she gasps against his mouth, a noise that quickly turns into a plaintive moan as he continues to work her over. she is much more precise on her own, but cassian is working her up in completely different way. it's exhilarating, chest flushing with pleasure, as her stomach swoops.
even cassian bringing up her stupid feelings does little to stop the warmth beginning to pool in her belly. ]
Let me want you too.
[ her head turns, pressing her lips to his cheek. ]
[ it's clear he likes the sounds he pulls out of her, each one sending another surge of want through him that she can still probably feel. he always likes to know what the other person thinks, feels, wants, and having the bond force it on him is an entirely different experience. ]
[ she's close too, he can tell that much. even her question doesn't stop him now, fucking her as thoroughly as he can with just his fingers and the occasional press of his lips to her skin. ]
[ letting himself be wanted is always so difficult. it's hard for him to wrap his head around the concept, but he cannot say no to her now. he doesn't want to. ]
Okay. [ he doesn't say how, he won't ask for anything either, but he supposes agreeing to it is a step in the right direction. it's fortunate that he can keep pushing her with his hand, curling his fingers inside her. ] Let go, Jyn. Let me feel you come. I want to hear it, see it, feel it.
[ she squirms under him, some last vestige of self-preservation begging her to flee even as her senses converge on a single point, balanced on his fingertip like a torch setting her on fire while the rest of her melts like sugar bubbling into caramel. her plaintive noise seems to be asking for relief, caught instead by her inability to relax.
she isn't good at letting go and frustration flares in her that it is holding her back from release, from pleasure, from giving cassian what he is asking of her. she wants, so desperately, to surrender, to let go of the windy precipice she is clinging to and fall but she can't.
her eyes squeeze shut, trying to temper her stuttered breathing, trying to will herself to relax, to give into the heat threatening to consume her if she would just let go. ]
[ she is so close. cassian can tell, moreso than usual. but he can also feel that tiny speck of fear, like a dam trying to restrain her desires. she doesn't want to stop, she just... can't get there. this isn't enough, he has to do more. help her more. ]
[ he leans in and very gently kisses her, no expectations, no hunger, just affection and love, somewhat counter-intuitive to the way his hand works her over. he just keeps kissing her, soft and easy like there's nothing else he'd rather do. there isn't, he's not lying. he can think of nothing else he wants more than just being with her, in any capacity. ]
Jyn. [ his lips are still on hers, but his voice is soft. he briefly plants a kiss to her temple, sweeping his thumb over her folds before turning back on her clit. ] It's just you and me here. I promise, I have you. I promise I will catch you. I am here. Do you trust me?
[ the fire builds and builds, an intensity that borders on painful as the world narrows down to cassian. she doesn't notice the way her fingers are clutching at the soft rug, knuckles white, or the soft, broken moans she's making with each tiny movement of his fingers. she's so overstimulated even the slightest touch threatens to undo her, whimpering weak noises, feeling on the verge of tears. it isn't just the frustration, it's all so much and she can't--
she can't! she doesn't know how to contain this emotion and she doesn't know how to let it go either. ]
I do.
[ it sounds like an apology, pleading, but something cracks inside her, and a cry is wrenched out of her as her whole body seems to tense, muscles clenching against him, around him, finally shaking apart beneath him. her voice is a ragged thread as she whispers his name. ]
[ she says she trusts him aloud but he can feel it too, he has a physical sense of how much she trusts and loves him and how much she wants him. it's just enough on both their ends to get her over the edge at last. he gently coaxes her through it, shivering when she whispers his name. he ducks in and kisses her, planting a soft line of affection down her jaw while she rides it out under his fingers. it's... odd, but not in a bad way, how he can literally feel the waves of pleasure even as he watches her beneath him, and it makes him feel so warm and so wanting. he slows his hand, but he doesn't stop kissing her, wanting to chase away her anxieties. ]
[ it isn't until she stills that he brings his lips back up, close to her ear. ]
[ her limbs feel weak and heavy, sheen of sweat cooling on her skin making her shiver as she struggles to come down and steady her breathing. she's had an orgasm before, but only at her own hand and it turns out her own hand sort of sucks at it if this is the comparison.
damn. ]
Mmm, too late, [ she hums, closing her eyes again. her arms are tired from clutching the rug, the rest of her body is tired from her inability to let go. ]
No way I'm getting back on that bed.
[ he made his stand on the rug to get her off and now he has to deal with the consequences: she doesn't want to move right now. ]
[ there's such a calmness to her now, a settling of her emotions that cassian doesn't think he's ever felt before. she's tired and easy and trying to temper her breathing, so cassian just... lets her lay there, relaxed. she deserves this. ]
[ of course, he does not quite stop kissing her. he brushes his lips gently along her jaw, without any sense of urgency. it's soft affection over her skin, and he settles his hand idly on her thigh. he's still very much wanting and she can probably feel that, but he's very content like this too, happy to lay around and flower her with kisses. ]
I will carry you there. [ he doesn't say it like a demand, it's more of an offer with full intent to follow up, even with argument. she doesn't have to move yet, but he still wants to get back up. ]
[ he doesn't seem very motivated to get her on the bed right now, mapping her skin with his mouth all over again, some kisses so feather light that they bring shivers. she is certainly lacking any motivation to move. so far their fluffy rug has proven a fantastic place to lay and she is struggling to be fussed about movie. his desire for romance was pushing her before, but now she is too relaxed to care. ]
Going to finally get me naked first or are you somehow gonna manage to fuck me anyway?
[ her underwear hadn't hindered him before but she doesn't think his dick is going to be as dexterous as his fingers. ]
[ yes it's so! he just needs some time! cassian doesn't get romance. he doesn't usually get softness or laziness, smiles and kisses and easy chatter. he wants to kiss her because he wants to kiss her, and even though yes, more fucking is on both of their agendas, it's just... nice to lay here now. the rug is nice too, but the bed is theirs, and that's his picture of romantic, even if it doesn't matter in the end to jyn. ]
Naked, definitely. [ he leans up and presses his lips to hers, trying not to linger too long. it's difficult. ] We both still have too many clothes on before the bed comes back into the picture.
[ his hand moves, fingertips skating at the edge of her underwear. ] I want to see all of you.
[ he kisses her, so leisurely, and jyn settles, like something has clicked into place finally. love was always hard for her to quantify, consequence of a life filled with too little love and affection, but she can feel it coming from cassian. it melts through the empathy bond with every touch, a near constant thrum of warmth.
it's a sliver of that peace she felt on the beach, still in cassian's arms. maybe it was never the force she felt, but him.
she swings her arm around his neck, keeping him close as she kisses him in return, heat of desire bringing some life back into her limbs. he's right that they have entire too many clothes on, but she needs a couple more minutes to regain enough energy to help out with the disrobing. ]
[ he can feel that sense of peace, how settled she is from his kiss, and it too reminds him of the beach, of being ready in her arms. she wraps her arms around him again and kisses him back, and his smile threatens to complicate the kissing because it's so wide and so happy and suddenly he doesn't care about pulling her underwear off. he can feel how much she wants him too, and there's heat in his kiss, but it's no less languid, soft, and lazy like they have nothing but time. ]
[ which is true enough tonight. he slides his hands up and cradles her face. comfortable, safe, warm, kissing her all the while like it's a luxury he wants to drown in. ]
I already am home.
[ he is home with her all the time. that's not what she meant, and he is quite nestled in already, but jyn erso is home, and he is madly in love with her. ]
[ jyn lifts her own hand, nails dragging across his beard before her fingers flatten across his cheek. they're already so tangled together that the empathy bond can't get any clearer, but every reminder spoken aloud feels like a victory. ]
You, [ she hums, voice mellow from contentment and full of affectionate warmth. ] Are an absolute dumbo.
[ it's funny how home can be a person and an insult can be a declaration of love. she doesn't know if it's the norm, nothing in her life has been particularly normal, and her example of a loving relationship was short lived and foggy from a child's memory, but she doesn't think they're doing too badly. ]
[ if he couldn't feel all the affection and love practically radiating at her, he might have felt awkward about being called a dumbo, constantly worried about what he says to her as it stands. but he knows that feeling now, implicitly, and it's love. there is a reason he called her home, and it's shared between them both. ]
[ he tilts his head to the side, planting a brief kiss against her palm. ] You love it anyway.
[ he feels confident enough to say so, because even if they're still navigating this new part of their lives, it all feels right. she feels right, and he feels like he belongs. ] There is nowhere else I would rather be right now.
[ it is very true. she loves everything about him. even when he is a dumbo.
teasing desire arcs through the empathy bond as her other arm lifts to swing around his waist, continuing to regain her energy and desire to go down to pleasure town. maybe even on the bed because he's sentimental. ]
Really? Nowhere else? I could think of some places. [ she kisses his cheek, soft and nearly chaste, before whispering: ] Take your pants off, Captain.
[ he just got her off, she's told him she loves him, and he still gets a little thrill when she simply says "I do," she does love him anyway. he can be as absurd or ridiculous as he likes, she loves him anyway. it helps him feel better about navigating this new path with her. ]
[ he can also feel the way her desire starts churning again, which is great because his never really slowed down much. he laughs at her request, nay, demand, stealing a kiss of his own that is not nearly as chaste. he just wants. ]
Yours first. [ he doesn't have a logical argument for it. he's just being contrary like she is all the time. he doesn't give her time to argue either, sliding his hand down and sliding her underwear down too, pulling it down her legs and trusting she'll kick to help him out as needed until they're off. they're a mess, good thing she doesn't need them anymore! ] As long as you are with me, any number of places would probably do.
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[ she wants this too, he can feel it; it's strange not to check in with words for it, but it's in the brush of her skin to his clear as day. it's a moment to be selfish, and jyn deserves nice things. like orgasms. ]
I think the first one is more applicable to me alone. You like when anyone is wrong. [ he kisses her again, biting at her lip while he slides a finger inside her; it already feels like so much more than he expected, even for him from all the emotion between them, but he starts to fuck her with his hand, eager to make her sound even more breathless. ]
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[ so much. cassian is so competent at so many things, she absolutely adores when he is wrong. competency is very, very attractive -- and it is infuriating that he is so good at this as well -- but his fallibility is what makes her feel at home in his arms. she loves all his imperfections.
even that he says herb incorrectly.
sh puffs a harsh breath, unashamedly directing his fingers where she needs them. the spike of excitement she feels rolling through him at her bitten out demands makes her feel bolder in her demands, however stuttering her breathing has become.]
I want to put my mouth on your cock. I want to know how you taste, what sounds you make when I'm going down on you.
[ turnabout is fair play. ]
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I like when you make that noise. [ what noise? any noise! doesn't matter, he likes listening to the sounds he's drawing from her. ]
[ he full body shudders when she makes her other demand, unable to hide the surge of want that rushes over him, but following behind that very quickly is confusion. confusion and a little reluctance, and he doesn't understand why she wants to do it, but he doesn't want to talk about his own feelings so it's time for turnabout round two. ]
One day I am going down on you. [ he punctuates this with a careful curl in his fingers, hoping to distract her from her request by using two now to fuck her while his thumb finds her clit. ] But other things come first.
[ like her! she's gonna come first :) ]
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Will you let me?
[ a crease sprouts between her eyebrows, speaking to a thread of concern. ]
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[ he recognizes the concern on her face via expression before feeling and tests just how much he can still move his fingers to push off answering. he still doesn't want to answer, so he just keeps at it, albeit more quietly so. ]
Not tonight. [ her face, her voice, the rise and fall of her chest, they all make it difficult for him to deny her outright, but he knows he can't quite agree right now either. maybe he can deflect a little too. ] Ask me again when I am not just thinking about being inside you.
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she can argue after. ]
Okay.
[ her legs relax, giving him space to work again, and she seems to accept his demurring as innocent, but there is a lingering sense of concern and doubt. she has no qualms continuing where they left off, but she is skeptical of his answer and she is going to dig deep into that when this is all over. ]
Say herb and you won't have to only think about it.
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[ fat chance but he can at least put it off a little longer. ]
I am a little busy. [ as if to prove his point he starts working his fingers all over again, following what she'd directed of him earlier. he ducks his head to kiss along her jaw, her neck, and it is only half to hide his face from their prior conversation. ] I like thinking about it. I will like it more later, but it is not a bad picture for now. Fake words can come later too, you can come first.
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no, he hadn't rejected her. his fingers are inside her, for kriff's sake, that isn't rejection, but it lingers in the back of her mind even as the enthusiastic movement of his fingers tries to wipe her mind clear entirely. ]
Make me.
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[ he can still feel her concern, but the way she says it sends a shudder down his spine and force does he want her. he knows this conversation is not over, but he wants to do exactly what she ordered and make her come. even though it was always his goal, his desire for it builds tenfold from the challenge. he crowds up closer into her space, trying to drown away the tension he can feel from her with his own eagerness. ]
[ he feels that tiny little speck of rejection, and that's it. that's what this is. he doesn't want his own inadequacies to make her feel rejected in any way, because there's nothing he wants more than her. he lifts his head and kisses her hard, like he's trying to prove his own feelings as though she can't feel them too. it's biting and soft somehow at once, and his hand moves deftly between her legs. he is taking her order to heart with almost reckless enthusiasm. ]
I am not rejecting you. [ he says it quietly, shifting to kiss along her jaw in case she wants that little bit of privacy, as though he isn't neatly pressed on top of her and literally inside her. ] There is so much more I want to do with you, Jyn. Tonight, tomorrow, the day after. I want you so much.
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even cassian bringing up her stupid feelings does little to stop the warmth beginning to pool in her belly. ]
Let me want you too.
[ her head turns, pressing her lips to his cheek. ]
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[ she's close too, he can tell that much. even her question doesn't stop him now, fucking her as thoroughly as he can with just his fingers and the occasional press of his lips to her skin. ]
[ letting himself be wanted is always so difficult. it's hard for him to wrap his head around the concept, but he cannot say no to her now. he doesn't want to. ]
Okay. [ he doesn't say how, he won't ask for anything either, but he supposes agreeing to it is a step in the right direction. it's fortunate that he can keep pushing her with his hand, curling his fingers inside her. ] Let go, Jyn. Let me feel you come. I want to hear it, see it, feel it.
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she isn't good at letting go and frustration flares in her that it is holding her back from release, from pleasure, from giving cassian what he is asking of her. she wants, so desperately, to surrender, to let go of the windy precipice she is clinging to and fall but she can't.
her eyes squeeze shut, trying to temper her stuttered breathing, trying to will herself to relax, to give into the heat threatening to consume her if she would just let go. ]
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[ he leans in and very gently kisses her, no expectations, no hunger, just affection and love, somewhat counter-intuitive to the way his hand works her over. he just keeps kissing her, soft and easy like there's nothing else he'd rather do. there isn't, he's not lying. he can think of nothing else he wants more than just being with her, in any capacity. ]
Jyn. [ his lips are still on hers, but his voice is soft. he briefly plants a kiss to her temple, sweeping his thumb over her folds before turning back on her clit. ] It's just you and me here. I promise, I have you. I promise I will catch you. I am here. Do you trust me?
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she can't! she doesn't know how to contain this emotion and she doesn't know how to let it go either. ]
I do.
[ it sounds like an apology, pleading, but something cracks inside her, and a cry is wrenched out of her as her whole body seems to tense, muscles clenching against him, around him, finally shaking apart beneath him. her voice is a ragged thread as she whispers his name. ]
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[ it isn't until she stills that he brings his lips back up, close to her ear. ]
Herb.
[ with an h! ]
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damn. ]
Mmm, too late, [ she hums, closing her eyes again. her arms are tired from clutching the rug, the rest of her body is tired from her inability to let go. ]
No way I'm getting back on that bed.
[ he made his stand on the rug to get her off and now he has to deal with the consequences: she doesn't want to move right now. ]
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[ of course, he does not quite stop kissing her. he brushes his lips gently along her jaw, without any sense of urgency. it's soft affection over her skin, and he settles his hand idly on her thigh. he's still very much wanting and she can probably feel that, but he's very content like this too, happy to lay around and flower her with kisses. ]
I will carry you there. [ he doesn't say it like a demand, it's more of an offer with full intent to follow up, even with argument. she doesn't have to move yet, but he still wants to get back up. ]
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[ he doesn't seem very motivated to get her on the bed right now, mapping her skin with his mouth all over again, some kisses so feather light that they bring shivers. she is certainly lacking any motivation to move. so far their fluffy rug has proven a fantastic place to lay and she is struggling to be fussed about movie. his desire for romance was pushing her before, but now she is too relaxed to care. ]
Going to finally get me naked first or are you somehow gonna manage to fuck me anyway?
[ her underwear hadn't hindered him before but she doesn't think his dick is going to be as dexterous as his fingers. ]
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Naked, definitely. [ he leans up and presses his lips to hers, trying not to linger too long. it's difficult. ] We both still have too many clothes on before the bed comes back into the picture.
[ his hand moves, fingertips skating at the edge of her underwear. ] I want to see all of you.
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it's a sliver of that peace she felt on the beach, still in cassian's arms. maybe it was never the force she felt, but him.
she swings her arm around his neck, keeping him close as she kisses him in return, heat of desire bringing some life back into her limbs. he's right that they have entire too many clothes on, but she needs a couple more minutes to regain enough energy to help out with the disrobing. ]
Make yourself at home.
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[ he can feel that sense of peace, how settled she is from his kiss, and it too reminds him of the beach, of being ready in her arms. she wraps her arms around him again and kisses him back, and his smile threatens to complicate the kissing because it's so wide and so happy and suddenly he doesn't care about pulling her underwear off. he can feel how much she wants him too, and there's heat in his kiss, but it's no less languid, soft, and lazy like they have nothing but time. ]
[ which is true enough tonight. he slides his hands up and cradles her face. comfortable, safe, warm, kissing her all the while like it's a luxury he wants to drown in. ]
I already am home.
[ he is home with her all the time. that's not what she meant, and he is quite nestled in already, but jyn erso is home, and he is madly in love with her. ]
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You, [ she hums, voice mellow from contentment and full of affectionate warmth. ] Are an absolute dumbo.
[ it's funny how home can be a person and an insult can be a declaration of love. she doesn't know if it's the norm, nothing in her life has been particularly normal, and her example of a loving relationship was short lived and foggy from a child's memory, but she doesn't think they're doing too badly. ]
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[ he tilts his head to the side, planting a brief kiss against her palm. ] You love it anyway.
[ he feels confident enough to say so, because even if they're still navigating this new part of their lives, it all feels right. she feels right, and he feels like he belongs. ] There is nowhere else I would rather be right now.
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[ it is very true. she loves everything about him. even when he is a dumbo.
teasing desire arcs through the empathy bond as her other arm lifts to swing around his waist, continuing to regain her energy and desire to go down to pleasure town. maybe even on the bed because he's sentimental. ]
Really? Nowhere else? I could think of some places. [ she kisses his cheek, soft and nearly chaste, before whispering: ] Take your pants off, Captain.
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[ he can also feel the way her desire starts churning again, which is great because his never really slowed down much. he laughs at her request, nay, demand, stealing a kiss of his own that is not nearly as chaste. he just wants. ]
Yours first. [ he doesn't have a logical argument for it. he's just being contrary like she is all the time. he doesn't give her time to argue either, sliding his hand down and sliding her underwear down too, pulling it down her legs and trusting she'll kick to help him out as needed until they're off. they're a mess, good thing she doesn't need them anymore! ] As long as you are with me, any number of places would probably do.
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