[ he knows she could probably flip him back over with ease, there is a reason he was admiring her muscles in particular before. she is Strong and that's Hot. but it's the easy and familiar back and forth, that's the fun part, combined with the way the movement keeps pressing them together in different ways. ]
[ her laugh delights him completely. he's never going to get tired of that sound. ]
[ but he gives her a very slow once over after sitting on her legs, languidly looking down and back up her chest with a very quiet smirk. ]
I already have you mostly naked. I could work with that.
[ he doesn't want to and he's not going to, but it's the temporary principle of the argument. ]
[ she can feel it as clearly as she can feel her own desire, she can read it on his expression, see it in the sparkling mirth in his eyes. she wonders idly when it became easy to read him, but there has always been something unspoken between them. they had been able to work soundlessly as a unit since jedha, in silent concert. ]
[ he doesn't want to but he could keep it that way for a while, out of spite. it's impossible to lie to jyn, sometimes even without the empathy bond. she is reading him clear as day, but he still doesn't want to give in yet. if he's gonna say herb stupidly, he's gonna drag it out as long as possible until she gets annoyed with him first. ]
[ so instead of saying the password, he leans down and brushes his lips over hers. he doesn't stay there, letting his mouth wander again along her jaw, dipping down her neck. she doesn't have to do anything! he can just kiss the fuck outta her!! ]
[ jyn is not opposed to having sex on the soft, fluffy rug so honestly she will offer no complaints when his mouth begins a journey down her throat and across her chest. he is the one that wants to be in bed. it is only when she feels him start to linger, that she tips her head to follow his path across her chest. ]
Are you... are you following my freckles?
[ she breathes out a soft laugh, teeth pressing into her bottom lip. there's something wildly electrifying in the simple act of mapping the freckles across her skin and she feels another jolt of desire, bright and hot. ]
[ he is also very into the rug, just not enough to stay here the whole time. it's fine for now, it's very comfortable, but he wants something dumb! he wants to be able to just... roll over and lay there with her, when it's all over! eventually he'll get to the bed, even if he has to say herb with a goddamn h. ]
[ he smiles against her skin when she notices his pattern. he wasn't trying to be subtle, but he had wondered if she'd notice. he plants a lingering kiss to a cluster of freckles right near the center of her chest, near her heart. ]
It's like a star map. To you.
[ whether it's stars or gravity, it seems like there's always a map to each other. a way back, a way home. ]
[ unrelated to any sort of map, his fingertips dip under the band of her underwear, fueled on by that burst of desire he can feel under his lips. he might be feeling sappy, but he also wants. ]
[ the sweetness of it sends warmth flooding through her. it isn't anything new, he's always been able to find her; on jedha, on eadu, on scarif, cassian as been able to find his way to her from the start. he'd found her again in new amsterdam (or maybe she finally found him, it's debatable) and jyn knew even then that she wasn't going to let go. ]
You don't need a map to me.
[ he's not going to get lost. that isn't the force or some metaphysical, mystical bullshit, he is her home and she his and she is going to hold on to that with every fibre of hope and strength within her. he is her choice, her home. ]
[ force, he can feel the warmth and softness in such a raw, real way, it's like they're both already beyond naked. there's a lot about the empathy bond that makes this easier, makes it so they don't have to talk very much, but on the flipside it's so much more. he doesn't have to assume based on body language, or read between the lines of her words. he knows, just like she does. he doesn't need a map to find home. ]
[ she knows him so well it's terrifying, but here he is touching her anyway and welcoming it in return, opening himself up to her. ]
[ his smile softens, even as he kisses a line between several of her freckles, tracing it with his tongue right after. ] I will always find you. This one is more for... exploration.
[ like the way his hand disappears entirely in her underwear and down between her legs, ready to do some of that aforementioned exploring. ]
[ the soft burn from his stubble, the rasp of his tongue, the soft press of his lips, the warmth of his breath, it's all so much and not enough at once. her eyes close, focusing on the sensations even when her breath hitches when his hand slips in her underwear.
she should tell him to take them off but she likes this his hand can't stray too far from her. ]
Never took you for exploring the unknown regions.
[ she swallows, licking her lips. she should stop him because he wanted to be stupidly romantic and fuck on the bed -- probably in candlelight and they do have enough candles -- but she doesn't want to pause this right now. instead she dims the overhead lights, locks the doors, turns on the soft golden accent lighting, puffs out a small little gasp because she can't pretend he isn't affecting her.
[ the simple fact that she closes her eyes is such an explicit sign of trust, and it makes him feel good beyond just in the physical. neither of them trust easily, but here they are. she doesn't try to stop him, so he doesn't take his hand away, but he does shift his kisses back up towards her neck instead as she dims the lights and sets the mood. he's so delighted. ]
That is how you learn to know them. And I would like to get to know all of you, if you would let me.
[ his fingers slide carefully through her folds, sighing into her neck and kind of awed that this is happening, that it still feels like they've got miles to go when it's already this much. he bites just under her jaw, and the way his hand moves almost studiously against her proves just how much he wants to find everything there is to know. ]
[ all things considered, not the correct way to answer. she will let him! she is happy to let him! he can explore her to his heart's content! but also her brain has gone all fuzzy and heavy and her stomach has swooped into her throat as her body tries to regain some kind of equilibrium.
she breathes out in a whoosh, turning her head quickly to try to blindly kiss him. she misses, kissing the bridge of his nose instead. ]
[ he has no doubts that she very much is okay with this, but it's so warbly and stuttered an okay that he laughs a little. ] Your tone does not inspire a lot of confidence.
[ his fingers get a little more daring, a little more sure and steady. she is warm and wet and he loves watching her face and the rise and fall of her chest as he touches her. when she shifts, trying to kiss him, he is all too happy to move his own head and press his lips to hers to grant that wish, seemingly ignoring her demand for him to say the dumb password. he's busy kissing her and eager with his hand, and maybe he started with the intention of only working her up more, but cassian finds he wants to see if he can keep going. he wants her to feel good, and he can already sense that fuzzy, happy whirl rushing over her. he wants to get her off on the rug first just like this, fingers moving in a more purposeful pace with one of them tentatively teasing at pushing inside her. ]
[ there's something full about the loop of her emotions mingling with his -- twin selfish desires to get jyn off, matching warmth and love and a fuzzy happiness that is still so new it's a novelty, mingling desire. that is the one where jyn can't differentiate, it is all simply a rush of passion and lust and want and it is distracting her from demanding he say herb to get on the kriffing bed.
there's nothing wrong with being selfish. she's made a life of it.
he wants this too and jyn doesn't know if she can stop him in order to fulfill his stupid, romantic dreams. so she doesn't, she doesn't stop him to the benefit her own enjoyment. ]
I don't know what I like more, [ she hums, voice threaded through with a faint breathlessness, thin, pulled taut. ] What you're doing or you being wrong.
[ there's no reason the romance can't continue after, can't continue up on the bed - it's still part of his plan, even if he has to say herb to accomplish it. but he has the chance to do something good and nice for jyn now, to bask a little longer in this particular comfortable haze of happy and want. ]
[ she wants this too, he can feel it; it's strange not to check in with words for it, but it's in the brush of her skin to his clear as day. it's a moment to be selfish, and jyn deserves nice things. like orgasms. ]
I think the first one is more applicable to me alone. You like when anyone is wrong. [ he kisses her again, biting at her lip while he slides a finger inside her; it already feels like so much more than he expected, even for him from all the emotion between them, but he starts to fuck her with his hand, eager to make her sound even more breathless. ]
[ so much. cassian is so competent at so many things, she absolutely adores when he is wrong. competency is very, very attractive -- and it is infuriating that he is so good at this as well -- but his fallibility is what makes her feel at home in his arms. she loves all his imperfections.
even that he says herb incorrectly.
sh puffs a harsh breath, unashamedly directing his fingers where she needs them. the spike of excitement she feels rolling through him at her bitten out demands makes her feel bolder in her demands, however stuttering her breathing has become.]
I want to put my mouth on your cock. I want to know how you taste, what sounds you make when I'm going down on you.
[ cassian laughs against her mouth, of course she likes when he's wrong. it's what makes him never want to be wrong, out of spite. but he's more than happy to take direction from her. he might be good at this, but only because he listens and he learns and it's better to follow her guidance until he knows for sure. good thing he's a quick learner. ]
I like when you make that noise. [ what noise? any noise! doesn't matter, he likes listening to the sounds he's drawing from her. ]
[ he full body shudders when she makes her other demand, unable to hide the surge of want that rushes over him, but following behind that very quickly is confusion. confusion and a little reluctance, and he doesn't understand why she wants to do it, but he doesn't want to talk about his own feelings so it's time for turnabout round two. ]
One day I am going down on you. [ he punctuates this with a careful curl in his fingers, hoping to distract her from her request by using two now to fuck her while his thumb finds her clit. ] But other things come first.
[ stubborn to the last, jyn clamps her legs together, trapping cassian's hand in a vise so he can't move it. his fingers can still move but with far less freedom of movement. she struggles some with grounding herself enough to argue. ]
Will you let me?
[ a crease sprouts between her eyebrows, speaking to a thread of concern. ]
[ cassian stills his hand the moment she clamps down, suddenly worried maybe there's a new line he crossed, but she isn't interested in stopping him. just pausing because she's still stuck on giving him a blowjob. ]
[ he recognizes the concern on her face via expression before feeling and tests just how much he can still move his fingers to push off answering. he still doesn't want to answer, so he just keeps at it, albeit more quietly so. ]
Not tonight. [ her face, her voice, the rise and fall of her chest, they all make it difficult for him to deny her outright, but he knows he can't quite agree right now either. maybe he can deflect a little too. ] Ask me again when I am not just thinking about being inside you.
[ the set of her mouth usually comes before an argument, she wants to argue because it is in her nature and he is being evasive and she doesn't like that! she wants to argue, but she wants cassian to have his perfect, romantic first time more.
she can argue after. ]
Okay.
[ her legs relax, giving him space to work again, and she seems to accept his demurring as innocent, but there is a lingering sense of concern and doubt. she has no qualms continuing where they left off, but she is skeptical of his answer and she is going to dig deep into that when this is all over. ]
Say herb and you won't have to only think about it.
[ he can tell she is not going to let this go from the tiny undercurrent of concern, but he is just going to conveniently ignore that! she's frowning like she wants to argue, but she does open up her legs again, so he leans in to kiss her, hoping to wipe it off her face. maybe he can just kiss her and make her forget!! ]
[ fat chance but he can at least put it off a little longer. ]
I am a little busy. [ as if to prove his point he starts working his fingers all over again, following what she'd directed of him earlier. he ducks his head to kiss along her jaw, her neck, and it is only half to hide his face from their prior conversation. ] I like thinking about it. I will like it more later, but it is not a bad picture for now. Fake words can come later too, you can come first.
[ of course she wants to keep arguing, half out of stubborn spite, and she thinks she could keep pushing until cassian answers her but then he kisses her and she selfishly gives in, trying to relax enough to find her way back from being rejected.
no, he hadn't rejected her. his fingers are inside her, for kriff's sake, that isn't rejection, but it lingers in the back of her mind even as the enthusiastic movement of his fingers tries to wipe her mind clear entirely. ]
[ he can still feel her concern, but the way she says it sends a shudder down his spine and force does he want her. he knows this conversation is not over, but he wants to do exactly what she ordered and make her come. even though it was always his goal, his desire for it builds tenfold from the challenge. he crowds up closer into her space, trying to drown away the tension he can feel from her with his own eagerness. ]
[ he feels that tiny little speck of rejection, and that's it. that's what this is. he doesn't want his own inadequacies to make her feel rejected in any way, because there's nothing he wants more than her. he lifts his head and kisses her hard, like he's trying to prove his own feelings as though she can't feel them too. it's biting and soft somehow at once, and his hand moves deftly between her legs. he is taking her order to heart with almost reckless enthusiasm. ]
I am not rejecting you. [ he says it quietly, shifting to kiss along her jaw in case she wants that little bit of privacy, as though he isn't neatly pressed on top of her and literally inside her. ] There is so much more I want to do with you, Jyn. Tonight, tomorrow, the day after. I want you so much.
[ the kiss is so sudden she gasps against his mouth, a noise that quickly turns into a plaintive moan as he continues to work her over. she is much more precise on her own, but cassian is working her up in completely different way. it's exhilarating, chest flushing with pleasure, as her stomach swoops.
even cassian bringing up her stupid feelings does little to stop the warmth beginning to pool in her belly. ]
Let me want you too.
[ her head turns, pressing her lips to his cheek. ]
[ it's clear he likes the sounds he pulls out of her, each one sending another surge of want through him that she can still probably feel. he always likes to know what the other person thinks, feels, wants, and having the bond force it on him is an entirely different experience. ]
[ she's close too, he can tell that much. even her question doesn't stop him now, fucking her as thoroughly as he can with just his fingers and the occasional press of his lips to her skin. ]
[ letting himself be wanted is always so difficult. it's hard for him to wrap his head around the concept, but he cannot say no to her now. he doesn't want to. ]
Okay. [ he doesn't say how, he won't ask for anything either, but he supposes agreeing to it is a step in the right direction. it's fortunate that he can keep pushing her with his hand, curling his fingers inside her. ] Let go, Jyn. Let me feel you come. I want to hear it, see it, feel it.
[ she squirms under him, some last vestige of self-preservation begging her to flee even as her senses converge on a single point, balanced on his fingertip like a torch setting her on fire while the rest of her melts like sugar bubbling into caramel. her plaintive noise seems to be asking for relief, caught instead by her inability to relax.
she isn't good at letting go and frustration flares in her that it is holding her back from release, from pleasure, from giving cassian what he is asking of her. she wants, so desperately, to surrender, to let go of the windy precipice she is clinging to and fall but she can't.
her eyes squeeze shut, trying to temper her stuttered breathing, trying to will herself to relax, to give into the heat threatening to consume her if she would just let go. ]
[ she is so close. cassian can tell, moreso than usual. but he can also feel that tiny speck of fear, like a dam trying to restrain her desires. she doesn't want to stop, she just... can't get there. this isn't enough, he has to do more. help her more. ]
[ he leans in and very gently kisses her, no expectations, no hunger, just affection and love, somewhat counter-intuitive to the way his hand works her over. he just keeps kissing her, soft and easy like there's nothing else he'd rather do. there isn't, he's not lying. he can think of nothing else he wants more than just being with her, in any capacity. ]
Jyn. [ his lips are still on hers, but his voice is soft. he briefly plants a kiss to her temple, sweeping his thumb over her folds before turning back on her clit. ] It's just you and me here. I promise, I have you. I promise I will catch you. I am here. Do you trust me?
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[ her laugh delights him completely. he's never going to get tired of that sound. ]
[ but he gives her a very slow once over after sitting on her legs, languidly looking down and back up her chest with a very quiet smirk. ]
I already have you mostly naked. I could work with that.
[ he doesn't want to and he's not going to, but it's the temporary principle of the argument. ]
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[ she can feel it as clearly as she can feel her own desire, she can read it on his expression, see it in the sparkling mirth in his eyes. she wonders idly when it became easy to read him, but there has always been something unspoken between them. they had been able to work soundlessly as a unit since jedha, in silent concert. ]
Come on, Cassian.
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[ so instead of saying the password, he leans down and brushes his lips over hers. he doesn't stay there, letting his mouth wander again along her jaw, dipping down her neck. she doesn't have to do anything! he can just kiss the fuck outta her!! ]
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Are you... are you following my freckles?
[ she breathes out a soft laugh, teeth pressing into her bottom lip. there's something wildly electrifying in the simple act of mapping the freckles across her skin and she feels another jolt of desire, bright and hot. ]
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[ he is also very into the rug, just not enough to stay here the whole time. it's fine for now, it's very comfortable, but he wants something dumb! he wants to be able to just... roll over and lay there with her, when it's all over! eventually he'll get to the bed, even if he has to say herb with a goddamn h. ]
[ he smiles against her skin when she notices his pattern. he wasn't trying to be subtle, but he had wondered if she'd notice. he plants a lingering kiss to a cluster of freckles right near the center of her chest, near her heart. ]
It's like a star map. To you.
[ whether it's stars or gravity, it seems like there's always a map to each other. a way back, a way home. ]
[ unrelated to any sort of map, his fingertips dip under the band of her underwear, fueled on by that burst of desire he can feel under his lips. he might be feeling sappy, but he also wants. ]
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You don't need a map to me.
[ he's not going to get lost. that isn't the force or some metaphysical, mystical bullshit, he is her home and she his and she is going to hold on to that with every fibre of hope and strength within her. he is her choice, her home. ]
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[ she knows him so well it's terrifying, but here he is touching her anyway and welcoming it in return, opening himself up to her. ]
[ his smile softens, even as he kisses a line between several of her freckles, tracing it with his tongue right after. ] I will always find you. This one is more for... exploration.
[ like the way his hand disappears entirely in her underwear and down between her legs, ready to do some of that aforementioned exploring. ]
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she should tell him to take them off but she likes this his hand can't stray too far from her. ]
Never took you for exploring the unknown regions.
[ she swallows, licking her lips. she should stop him because he wanted to be stupidly romantic and fuck on the bed -- probably in candlelight and they do have enough candles -- but she doesn't want to pause this right now. instead she dims the overhead lights, locks the doors, turns on the soft golden accent lighting, puffs out a small little gasp because she can't pretend he isn't affecting her.
she'll stop him in a second. ]
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That is how you learn to know them. And I would like to get to know all of you, if you would let me.
[ his fingers slide carefully through her folds, sighing into her neck and kind of awed that this is happening, that it still feels like they've got miles to go when it's already this much. he bites just under her jaw, and the way his hand moves almost studiously against her proves just how much he wants to find everything there is to know. ]
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Okay.
[ all things considered, not the correct way to answer. she will let him! she is happy to let him! he can explore her to his heart's content! but also her brain has gone all fuzzy and heavy and her stomach has swooped into her throat as her body tries to regain some kind of equilibrium.
she breathes out in a whoosh, turning her head quickly to try to blindly kiss him. she misses, kissing the bridge of his nose instead. ]
Say herb.
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[ his fingers get a little more daring, a little more sure and steady. she is warm and wet and he loves watching her face and the rise and fall of her chest as he touches her. when she shifts, trying to kiss him, he is all too happy to move his own head and press his lips to hers to grant that wish, seemingly ignoring her demand for him to say the dumb password. he's busy kissing her and eager with his hand, and maybe he started with the intention of only working her up more, but cassian finds he wants to see if he can keep going. he wants her to feel good, and he can already sense that fuzzy, happy whirl rushing over her. he wants to get her off on the rug first just like this, fingers moving in a more purposeful pace with one of them tentatively teasing at pushing inside her. ]
Herb. [ no h. ]
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there's nothing wrong with being selfish. she's made a life of it.
he wants this too and jyn doesn't know if she can stop him in order to fulfill his stupid, romantic dreams. so she doesn't, she doesn't stop him to the benefit her own enjoyment. ]
I don't know what I like more, [ she hums, voice threaded through with a faint breathlessness, thin, pulled taut. ] What you're doing or you being wrong.
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[ she wants this too, he can feel it; it's strange not to check in with words for it, but it's in the brush of her skin to his clear as day. it's a moment to be selfish, and jyn deserves nice things. like orgasms. ]
I think the first one is more applicable to me alone. You like when anyone is wrong. [ he kisses her again, biting at her lip while he slides a finger inside her; it already feels like so much more than he expected, even for him from all the emotion between them, but he starts to fuck her with his hand, eager to make her sound even more breathless. ]
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[ so much. cassian is so competent at so many things, she absolutely adores when he is wrong. competency is very, very attractive -- and it is infuriating that he is so good at this as well -- but his fallibility is what makes her feel at home in his arms. she loves all his imperfections.
even that he says herb incorrectly.
sh puffs a harsh breath, unashamedly directing his fingers where she needs them. the spike of excitement she feels rolling through him at her bitten out demands makes her feel bolder in her demands, however stuttering her breathing has become.]
I want to put my mouth on your cock. I want to know how you taste, what sounds you make when I'm going down on you.
[ turnabout is fair play. ]
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I like when you make that noise. [ what noise? any noise! doesn't matter, he likes listening to the sounds he's drawing from her. ]
[ he full body shudders when she makes her other demand, unable to hide the surge of want that rushes over him, but following behind that very quickly is confusion. confusion and a little reluctance, and he doesn't understand why she wants to do it, but he doesn't want to talk about his own feelings so it's time for turnabout round two. ]
One day I am going down on you. [ he punctuates this with a careful curl in his fingers, hoping to distract her from her request by using two now to fuck her while his thumb finds her clit. ] But other things come first.
[ like her! she's gonna come first :) ]
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Will you let me?
[ a crease sprouts between her eyebrows, speaking to a thread of concern. ]
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[ he recognizes the concern on her face via expression before feeling and tests just how much he can still move his fingers to push off answering. he still doesn't want to answer, so he just keeps at it, albeit more quietly so. ]
Not tonight. [ her face, her voice, the rise and fall of her chest, they all make it difficult for him to deny her outright, but he knows he can't quite agree right now either. maybe he can deflect a little too. ] Ask me again when I am not just thinking about being inside you.
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she can argue after. ]
Okay.
[ her legs relax, giving him space to work again, and she seems to accept his demurring as innocent, but there is a lingering sense of concern and doubt. she has no qualms continuing where they left off, but she is skeptical of his answer and she is going to dig deep into that when this is all over. ]
Say herb and you won't have to only think about it.
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[ fat chance but he can at least put it off a little longer. ]
I am a little busy. [ as if to prove his point he starts working his fingers all over again, following what she'd directed of him earlier. he ducks his head to kiss along her jaw, her neck, and it is only half to hide his face from their prior conversation. ] I like thinking about it. I will like it more later, but it is not a bad picture for now. Fake words can come later too, you can come first.
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no, he hadn't rejected her. his fingers are inside her, for kriff's sake, that isn't rejection, but it lingers in the back of her mind even as the enthusiastic movement of his fingers tries to wipe her mind clear entirely. ]
Make me.
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[ he can still feel her concern, but the way she says it sends a shudder down his spine and force does he want her. he knows this conversation is not over, but he wants to do exactly what she ordered and make her come. even though it was always his goal, his desire for it builds tenfold from the challenge. he crowds up closer into her space, trying to drown away the tension he can feel from her with his own eagerness. ]
[ he feels that tiny little speck of rejection, and that's it. that's what this is. he doesn't want his own inadequacies to make her feel rejected in any way, because there's nothing he wants more than her. he lifts his head and kisses her hard, like he's trying to prove his own feelings as though she can't feel them too. it's biting and soft somehow at once, and his hand moves deftly between her legs. he is taking her order to heart with almost reckless enthusiasm. ]
I am not rejecting you. [ he says it quietly, shifting to kiss along her jaw in case she wants that little bit of privacy, as though he isn't neatly pressed on top of her and literally inside her. ] There is so much more I want to do with you, Jyn. Tonight, tomorrow, the day after. I want you so much.
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even cassian bringing up her stupid feelings does little to stop the warmth beginning to pool in her belly. ]
Let me want you too.
[ her head turns, pressing her lips to his cheek. ]
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[ she's close too, he can tell that much. even her question doesn't stop him now, fucking her as thoroughly as he can with just his fingers and the occasional press of his lips to her skin. ]
[ letting himself be wanted is always so difficult. it's hard for him to wrap his head around the concept, but he cannot say no to her now. he doesn't want to. ]
Okay. [ he doesn't say how, he won't ask for anything either, but he supposes agreeing to it is a step in the right direction. it's fortunate that he can keep pushing her with his hand, curling his fingers inside her. ] Let go, Jyn. Let me feel you come. I want to hear it, see it, feel it.
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she isn't good at letting go and frustration flares in her that it is holding her back from release, from pleasure, from giving cassian what he is asking of her. she wants, so desperately, to surrender, to let go of the windy precipice she is clinging to and fall but she can't.
her eyes squeeze shut, trying to temper her stuttered breathing, trying to will herself to relax, to give into the heat threatening to consume her if she would just let go. ]
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[ he leans in and very gently kisses her, no expectations, no hunger, just affection and love, somewhat counter-intuitive to the way his hand works her over. he just keeps kissing her, soft and easy like there's nothing else he'd rather do. there isn't, he's not lying. he can think of nothing else he wants more than just being with her, in any capacity. ]
Jyn. [ his lips are still on hers, but his voice is soft. he briefly plants a kiss to her temple, sweeping his thumb over her folds before turning back on her clit. ] It's just you and me here. I promise, I have you. I promise I will catch you. I am here. Do you trust me?
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