[ she sits up and he sits down and suddenly he doesn't know what to do when he's this close. he thought he had a plan, he had several plans. different things to say, ways to bring it up, and he figured as soon as he found her in privacy he'd know exactly how to proceed. ]
[ he loses all of them. ]
[ instead he just reaches out and takes her face in between his hands. he gets about two seconds of surprised pikachu confusion on her face before he ducks in and kisses her. ]
[ it's only a little hesitant, but mostly it's sure and determined, very different from the one she laid on him after her exciting camping trip. it comes with his feelings too, with the warm pressure in his chest that matches hers because if he can't find the words to tell her how he feels, maybe he can just show her. ]
their time in their own galaxy was like a fading sunset, beautiful and fleeting, but when he kisses her it feels like the sun bursting over the horizon. warm and bright and comforting, full of the hope of a new day, starting over, taking the next chance.
she had told daisy this was already their second chance; they'd lived, despite all odds, and were living their second chance at life by indulging in sweets and friendship and living lives they never could have had in their own broken galaxy. his kiss, the unspoken promise on his lips, is a new chance entirely.
in his arms the violent waves of emotion that struggle to settle in her head finally calm and the world starts to make sense again. she holds on to that with a quiet desperation, fingers finding purchase curled around the front of his shirt, holding him there in case he changes his mind, in case this feeling changes like the receding tide. ]
[ it isn't that he doubted she would kiss him back, but it's still a rush of relief when she does, when her hands curl into his shirt like she doesn't want to let him go. it makes him feel wanted, relieved that he wasn't wrong about his analysis. it surprises him anyway because cassian andor is always surprised when people care about him. ]
[ he doesn't change his mind. he's emboldened by her vice grip and he sighs against her mouth, smiling as one hand slides into her hair. it's a chance they're going to take together and he should probably... say something, but he doesn't want to stop kissing her. the warmness in his chest feels magnified by it, solid and centered and grounded more than he's been in a long, long time. they've circled each other since they met, pulled in by a gravity he couldn't explain and was too afraid to investigate. ]
[ he stopped running from the pull already, but now he's ready to jump into it, to slide in closer. he is home and he is safe with jyn, and that's how they are together. he can feel it in the simple act of kissing her, and maybe he doesn't want to stop kissing her because he's not ready to let that go. ]
[ jyn doesn't have any designs on ceasing this kissing now that she has it in her grasp, but she also isn't going to just sit here and be kissed. she is absolutely a willing and eager participant, breathing him in as her tongue teases as the seam of his lips, immediately deepening the kiss when his lips part.
but that isn't enough for her.
she scrambles into his lap, humming a pleased noise when the angle shifts and she is taller than him. excellent. she knows there is some part of cassian itching to talk about this but not right now. no interruptions right now. ]
[ his mouth opens under hers like it's nothing, smiling when she deepens it, but he does the same, with the same eagerness too. she tastes like raspberries and he already can't seem to get enough. ]
[ it's almost a mad dash to his lap, where she settles in comfortably as he leans back against the seat, and his hands move to steady her at the waist, or maybe he just wants to hold her. probably both, if the way he urges her closer is any indication. it's a good angle, he doesn't have to duck his head anymore, and she is warm in his arms. he still wants to talk, but it's hard to find the motivation to get to it when she's kissing him like that. ]
[ he can feel how much she wants this and feel everything else too, trying not to let the sensation of love overwhelm him too much, not when there is more kissing to be had, fingertips idly dipping under the hem of her shirt. ]
[ his fingers ghost against her skin and jyn knows that he is going to want to take his time, to make it romantic and good and wonderful, but jyn wants to jump him immediately, right here and now, privacy be damned. ignore that they're on the couch in the common area in front of the floor to ceiling windows, it's fine.
she scrambles to simply sweep her shirt up and over her head, abandoned on the floor, hair disheveled as she leans back in, cradling his face between her hands to kiss him again. a sigh escapes as his warm hands slide across her bare skin, sinking against him all over again.
but she does draw back once more, her thumb brushing against his jaw as she looks at him, entirely blissful. ]
[ despite recognizing how much she wants him and how much she wants to kiss him, when she pulls her shirt away in a rush his stomach rolls over in anticipation. he only has a few seconds to let his gaze wander, taking in the flashes of her scars and lean muscles, before she kisses him and he once again melts into it. he sighs against her mouth and lets his hands wander instead. ]
[ his face is so soft when she pulls back, equally as blissful and watching her like she's just hung the moon. ]
[ at least until she speaks. he looks up at her, suddenly startled. he knows this for a fact, he can feel it, he's been coming to terms with it since he realized what this feeling was between them. but it still shocks him to hear the words aloud. to hear someone tell him they love him. when was the last time anyone told him that? does he even remember? ]
[ he lifts one hand to cup her cheek, still taken aback. ] You love me. [ it's not quite a question, but he's still thrown by the concept finally aloud, as though he hadn't planned on telling her himself too. ] I love you, Jyn. I am sorry it took me so long to realize.
he's so surprised that jyn almost laughs, but she was as taken aback by her own realization that she understands. she avoided touching him so he wouldn't realize until she felt ready, despite that maybe not being very fair. she still doesn't feel ready, but it is no longer an insurmountable thing because she feels it matched by cassian.
the mirror used to hurt, but now there is a solace in the reflection.
she kisses him again and maybe it is to shut up him again, ignoring his apology. maybe that is going to be how she does things from now on, a smooch to shush. maybe it is simply the novelty of being able to kiss him whenever she wants. ]
[ it isn't dismissive and he has no qualms about kissing her again - he doesn't think he's going to put up much of a fight about that at any point, if the elation he feels right now is anything to go by. but he laughs against her mouth, because he remembers when she first kissed him. ]
[ he was just as surprised then as he is now by the idea of being loved. ]
[ he kisses her a few more times, and the next time he breaks, he doesn't move very far, keeping his forehead to hers. ]
You cannot just kiss me every time you want me to stop talking.
jyn can and jyn will, outright ignoring his words to kiss him again. if he wants to talk, they can talk after so he better get this show on the road. even if he does stop talking, jyn isn't going to stop kissing him. the point here, even though cassian interrupted, is to keep kissing him.
she pushes up a little on her knees, pressing him back into the couch more, demanding of his attention as her hands fall to dance her fingers against the hem of his shirt, itching to take it off but unaware where any boundaries may be hiding. maybe this is too much, too soon, maybe he wants to keep his shirt on despite jyn having seen him shirtless since literally day one. she doesn't know so she is letting him decide. ]
[ of course she ignores him. he really should have expected no less! even though it doesn't help his argument, his smile widens and he falls back into kissing her, especially when she presses in even closer. his stomach is butterflies and warmth, and he wants her hands under his shirt, over his skin. he wants to tell her to take it off, but that involves pulling his mouth from hers and maybe she was onto something with the whole nonstop kissing thing. ]
[ he kisses her more and more, briefly biting at her lip, and he breaks again, though he is speaking against her mouth because true to her word, she doesn't stop kissing him herself. ]
You can take it off. [ a beat, where he kisses her again, fingers digging into her waist. ] But not here.
[ he doesn't necessarily mean she can't take his shirt off here, on the couch, but he does not want to continue this here, on the couch. maybe it might be too much too soon but they're both happy and wanting, and cassian tells himself that's enough. ]
[ cassian's locale preference in mind, jyn hums a noise, grabs the front of his shirt and scrambles out of his lap without letting go. she's strong enough to haul him to his feet but honestly he doesn't put up much (if any) of a fight.
her own shirt is left abandoned on the floor but that is neither here nor there. ]
Come on.
[ she drags him toward their bedroom, shoving through the door before it's really open and turning to push him back against it before really closes, dragging his shirt up and up, except now that they are standing she needs a little help to get it all the way over his head, which he provides, leaning over a bit to help her tug it off.
leaving him at just the right height for her to kiss again, curling her arms around his now bare shoulders and pushing herself up against him with a sigh of delight. ]
[ she's right, there is approximately zero fight when she manhandles him to his feet and hauls him towards their room. there's a stupid smile on his face while her sense of urgency drags them both across the apartment. he'll tease her about this, for sure. ]
[ jyn nearly slams him back into the door, and he has to admit he is pretty into it. as soon as she realizes she needs help with his shirt, he's maneuvering so they can yank it up and off. teamwork makes the dream work! she immediately leans in to kiss him, and it might be perfect for her, but he's going to get a cramp in his neck if they stay like this for too long. he runs his hands down her sides, fingers digging into her thighs before he lifts her up and pushes off the door, letting her wind her legs around his waist. ]
[ there, much better angle, because he is already back to kissing her. it takes him a few wobbly seconds to get his footing, stumbling once or twice while he adjusts his grip and takes another step towards the bed. ]
[ his hands on her thighs makes her shiver, and he isn't even touching bare skin. there is enough bare skin for her to feel the emotions of the empathy link slipping between them, love and affection and rising desire making her dizzy with anticipation. ]
If you drop me, Captain, I'll kill you.
[ not dizzy enough to not threaten him.
not needing to hold herself up, her hands skim down his back, smooth motions stuttering slightly when her fingers brush across the huge scar, a spark of tension rising between them before she shoves it away. her kisses roughen, aggressive, like she can drown out any lingering anxiety from their shared past by downing it in love. ]
[ even without the empathy link, cassian thinks this would be even more intense than what he's used to, but the back and forth of their feelings keeps feeding off each other, and maybe that's part of what has him feeling so rushed and eager. he's just... feeling a lot! ]
[ her hands sweep up his back, and he can sense that spike of anxiety alongside everything else when they brush over his scar. he could comment, remind her that it's fine, they're safe, and it's over. but he doesn't want to draw any more attention to his back right now, not when she's kissing him like that. ]
[ so instead he loosens his grip just enough that she slips a few inches, but he catches her swiftly with a smirk on his face. 100% on purpose. ]
Oops.
[ yeah! take that! go ahead and kill him now jyn!! focusing on the teasing seems like the best way to avoid the trap of anxiety, and now his grip puts his hand on her ass, so it's definitely a win. ]
[ the sensation of falling makes a surprised yelp slip past her lips before she grabs the door frame and hauls him back against the door, feeling her own legs hit the door before his shoulders do the same. she ducks in, biting at his neck. ]
Captain, [ she hums, voice low as it rumbles against his throat. ] Don't push me.
[ she knows all his weak spots! she will tickle him until he cries. ]
[ he still wins! her yelp! her lips on his throat! nothing about this makes him feel even close to a loser. he hums as her teeth scrape over his skin, adjusting his grip around her into something more firm, more wanting, even as she gets him shoved against the door again. ]
You are the one doing the pushing here. [ she literally pushed him to the wall! which he still very much likes, but it doesn't stray him from his end goal. he squeezes her ass and tries to tilt her head back up with only gestures, because he wants to kiss her. ] Besides, we are not very well balanced like this.
[ so obviously the solution is to step from the wall yet again. ]
Not my fault you haven't got the upper body strength.
[ she doesn't lean back to kiss him, instead leaving kisses and bites across his neck, licking a stripe up his throat to catch his earlobe between her teeth, breath warm against his skin. ]
If you want something, use your words.
[ rich coming from jyn, the queen of avoiding any and all conversation. it's different now because jyn finds she very much wants to hear what he wants from her. ]
[ the worst part about standing here like this is he can't do anything. his hands are holding her up and her mouth is distractedly discovering his neck, and it's great, honestly, but he doesn't like doing nothing! ]
I thought you did not want me to talk. [ yeah he'll just call her out on that, briefly falling back against the wall while she makes use of her teeth. ] Did you change your mind? Very confusing messages here.
[ he's gonna save his direct "i want" statement till the last possible moment, obviously. ]
[ she does kind of want him to shut up again but she can't tell him to shut up again because she wants him to tell her what he wants. how can she have both things! her legs tighten around his hips and she could hold herself up, but she leaves her weight in his arms so he is trapped holding her. ]
[ he laughs, even as her legs tighten around him and he knows she can hold herself up, that she is positioning herself on purpose. ]
I want you. [ in simplicity. he can't kiss her, but he can at least duck his head towards her ear so his words are echoing in close. his grip on her tightens too; it's like they just keep pulling and pushing and trying to drag each other under in closeness. ] I want you on the bed, and you can keep your legs around me, but I would very much like you without your pants on.
[ she groans, put upon. she knew he was going to want to make it romantic and gross. why can't they just bang against the door? she is very comfortable here! ]
You can have my pants off, but I like it here.
[ she finally kisses him again because he answered her and that is all she really wanted. even if she said he could let her down if he answered, she was clearly bullshitting that part. he cannot let her down yet. ]
[ let him live his romantic and gross life!! apparently he wants to try it out!! ]
[ she kisses him again, finally, and he immediately melts into it and does not offer his counterargument yet. it's coming, but first more kissing, licking at her lips and eager to return attention back on her. he does not move from her mouth when he remembers he isn't giving in, words slipping out between kisses. ] No, I want the bed.
[ he steps away from the wall again; he's still holding her, his legs are the ones on the ground! all he has to do is simply walk to the bed, which is exactly what he starts to do. ]
jyn grabs the wall sconce keeping cassian from going any further unless he wants her to rip it right off the wall. she legs untwist, but the grip of he thighs is still enough to keep her tightly pressed against him. ]
Compromise: the dresser.
[ she releases the light only to gesture at their low dresser. ]
[ on the one hand, jyn's ass cassian has always known jyn's upper body strength was impressive, but it's quite different to literally feel it right against him. he's got his arms around her, but she is still clearly doing some of the work herself. he is maybe swooning internally. ]
[ as soon as she lets go of the light, he steps further from it and further from the dresser till there is nothing around for her to grab except him. so there! ]
No. [ he is!! very firm about this!! even while he ducks in to kiss her and maybe, hopefully distract her with the voracity of it. between the bickering and her thighs, cassian is suddenly even more turned on and resolute. ] We can do that next time.
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[ she sits up and he sits down and suddenly he doesn't know what to do when he's this close. he thought he had a plan, he had several plans. different things to say, ways to bring it up, and he figured as soon as he found her in privacy he'd know exactly how to proceed. ]
[ he loses all of them. ]
[ instead he just reaches out and takes her face in between his hands. he gets about two seconds of
surprised pikachuconfusion on her face before he ducks in and kisses her. ][ it's only a little hesitant, but mostly it's sure and determined, very different from the one she laid on him after her exciting camping trip. it comes with his feelings too, with the warm pressure in his chest that matches hers because if he can't find the words to tell her how he feels, maybe he can just show her. ]
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their time in their own galaxy was like a fading sunset, beautiful and fleeting, but when he kisses her it feels like the sun bursting over the horizon. warm and bright and comforting, full of the hope of a new day, starting over, taking the next chance.
she had told daisy this was already their second chance; they'd lived, despite all odds, and were living their second chance at life by indulging in sweets and friendship and living lives they never could have had in their own broken galaxy. his kiss, the unspoken promise on his lips, is a new chance entirely.
in his arms the violent waves of emotion that struggle to settle in her head finally calm and the world starts to make sense again. she holds on to that with a quiet desperation, fingers finding purchase curled around the front of his shirt, holding him there in case he changes his mind, in case this feeling changes like the receding tide. ]
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[ he doesn't change his mind. he's emboldened by her vice grip and he sighs against her mouth, smiling as one hand slides into her hair. it's a chance they're going to take together and he should probably... say something, but he doesn't want to stop kissing her. the warmness in his chest feels magnified by it, solid and centered and grounded more than he's been in a long, long time. they've circled each other since they met, pulled in by a gravity he couldn't explain and was too afraid to investigate. ]
[ he stopped running from the pull already, but now he's ready to jump into it, to slide in closer. he is home and he is safe with jyn, and that's how they are together. he can feel it in the simple act of kissing her, and maybe he doesn't want to stop kissing her because he's not ready to let that go. ]
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but that isn't enough for her.
she scrambles into his lap, humming a pleased noise when the angle shifts and she is taller than him. excellent. she knows there is some part of cassian itching to talk about this but not right now. no interruptions right now. ]
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[ it's almost a mad dash to his lap, where she settles in comfortably as he leans back against the seat, and his hands move to steady her at the waist, or maybe he just wants to hold her. probably both, if the way he urges her closer is any indication. it's a good angle, he doesn't have to duck his head anymore, and she is warm in his arms. he still wants to talk, but it's hard to find the motivation to get to it when she's kissing him like that. ]
[ he can feel how much she wants this and feel everything else too, trying not to let the sensation of love overwhelm him too much, not when there is more kissing to be had, fingertips idly dipping under the hem of her shirt. ]
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she scrambles to simply sweep her shirt up and over her head, abandoned on the floor, hair disheveled as she leans back in, cradling his face between her hands to kiss him again. a sigh escapes as his warm hands slide across her bare skin, sinking against him all over again.
but she does draw back once more, her thumb brushing against his jaw as she looks at him, entirely blissful. ]
I love you, too.
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[ his face is so soft when she pulls back, equally as blissful and watching her like she's just hung the moon. ]
[ at least until she speaks. he looks up at her, suddenly startled. he knows this for a fact, he can feel it, he's been coming to terms with it since he realized what this feeling was between them. but it still shocks him to hear the words aloud. to hear someone tell him they love him. when was the last time anyone told him that? does he even remember? ]
[ he lifts one hand to cup her cheek, still taken aback. ] You love me. [ it's not quite a question, but he's still thrown by the concept finally aloud, as though he hadn't planned on telling her himself too. ] I love you, Jyn. I am sorry it took me so long to realize.
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he's so surprised that jyn almost laughs, but she was as taken aback by her own realization that she understands. she avoided touching him so he wouldn't realize until she felt ready, despite that maybe not being very fair. she still doesn't feel ready, but it is no longer an insurmountable thing because she feels it matched by cassian.
the mirror used to hurt, but now there is a solace in the reflection.
she kisses him again and maybe it is to shut up him again, ignoring his apology. maybe that is going to be how she does things from now on, a smooch to shush. maybe it is simply the novelty of being able to kiss him whenever she wants. ]
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[ he was just as surprised then as he is now by the idea of being loved. ]
[ he kisses her a few more times, and the next time he breaks, he doesn't move very far, keeping his forehead to hers. ]
You cannot just kiss me every time you want me to stop talking.
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jyn can and jyn will, outright ignoring his words to kiss him again. if he wants to talk, they can talk after so he better get this show on the road. even if he does stop talking, jyn isn't going to stop kissing him. the point here, even though cassian interrupted, is to keep kissing him.
she pushes up a little on her knees, pressing him back into the couch more, demanding of his attention as her hands fall to dance her fingers against the hem of his shirt, itching to take it off but unaware where any boundaries may be hiding. maybe this is too much, too soon, maybe he wants to keep his shirt on despite jyn having seen him shirtless since literally day one. she doesn't know so she is letting him decide. ]
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[ he kisses her more and more, briefly biting at her lip, and he breaks again, though he is speaking against her mouth because true to her word, she doesn't stop kissing him herself. ]
You can take it off. [ a beat, where he kisses her again, fingers digging into her waist. ] But not here.
[ he doesn't necessarily mean she can't take his shirt off here, on the couch, but he does not want to continue this here, on the couch. maybe it might be too much too soon but they're both happy and wanting, and cassian tells himself that's enough. ]
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her own shirt is left abandoned on the floor but that is neither here nor there. ]
Come on.
[ she drags him toward their bedroom, shoving through the door before it's really open and turning to push him back against it before really closes, dragging his shirt up and up, except now that they are standing she needs a little help to get it all the way over his head, which he provides, leaning over a bit to help her tug it off.
leaving him at just the right height for her to kiss again, curling her arms around his now bare shoulders and pushing herself up against him with a sigh of delight. ]
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[ jyn nearly slams him back into the door, and he has to admit he is pretty into it. as soon as she realizes she needs help with his shirt, he's maneuvering so they can yank it up and off. teamwork makes the dream work! she immediately leans in to kiss him, and it might be perfect for her, but he's going to get a cramp in his neck if they stay like this for too long. he runs his hands down her sides, fingers digging into her thighs before he lifts her up and pushes off the door, letting her wind her legs around his waist. ]
[ there, much better angle, because he is already back to kissing her. it takes him a few wobbly seconds to get his footing, stumbling once or twice while he adjusts his grip and takes another step towards the bed. ]
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If you drop me, Captain, I'll kill you.
[ not dizzy enough to not threaten him.
not needing to hold herself up, her hands skim down his back, smooth motions stuttering slightly when her fingers brush across the huge scar, a spark of tension rising between them before she shoves it away. her kisses roughen, aggressive, like she can drown out any lingering anxiety from their shared past by downing it in love. ]
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[ her hands sweep up his back, and he can sense that spike of anxiety alongside everything else when they brush over his scar. he could comment, remind her that it's fine, they're safe, and it's over. but he doesn't want to draw any more attention to his back right now, not when she's kissing him like that. ]
[ so instead he loosens his grip just enough that she slips a few inches, but he catches her swiftly with a smirk on his face. 100% on purpose. ]
Oops.
[ yeah! take that! go ahead and kill him now jyn!! focusing on the teasing seems like the best way to avoid the trap of anxiety, and now his grip puts his hand on her ass, so it's definitely a win. ]
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Captain, [ she hums, voice low as it rumbles against his throat. ] Don't push me.
[ she knows all his weak spots! she will tickle him until he cries. ]
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You are the one doing the pushing here. [ she literally pushed him to the wall! which he still very much likes, but it doesn't stray him from his end goal. he squeezes her ass and tries to tilt her head back up with only gestures, because he wants to kiss her. ] Besides, we are not very well balanced like this.
[ so obviously the solution is to step from the wall yet again. ]
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[ she doesn't lean back to kiss him, instead leaving kisses and bites across his neck, licking a stripe up his throat to catch his earlobe between her teeth, breath warm against his skin. ]
If you want something, use your words.
[ rich coming from jyn, the queen of avoiding any and all conversation. it's different now because jyn finds she very much wants to hear what he wants from her. ]
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I thought you did not want me to talk. [ yeah he'll just call her out on that, briefly falling back against the wall while she makes use of her teeth. ] Did you change your mind? Very confusing messages here.
[ he's gonna save his direct "i want" statement till the last possible moment, obviously. ]
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Tell me and I'll let you put me down.
[ she goes back to kissing his neck, teasing. ]
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[ he laughs, even as her legs tighten around him and he knows she can hold herself up, that she is positioning herself on purpose. ]
I want you. [ in simplicity. he can't kiss her, but he can at least duck his head towards her ear so his words are echoing in close. his grip on her tightens too; it's like they just keep pulling and pushing and trying to drag each other under in closeness. ] I want you on the bed, and you can keep your legs around me, but I would very much like you without your pants on.
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You can have my pants off, but I like it here.
[ she finally kisses him again because he answered her and that is all she really wanted. even if she said he could let her down if he answered, she was clearly bullshitting that part. he cannot let her down yet. ]
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[ she kisses him again, finally, and he immediately melts into it and does not offer his counterargument yet. it's coming, but first more kissing, licking at her lips and eager to return attention back on her. he does not move from her mouth when he remembers he isn't giving in, words slipping out between kisses. ] No, I want the bed.
[ he steps away from the wall again; he's still holding her, his legs are the ones on the ground! all he has to do is simply walk to the bed, which is exactly what he starts to do. ]
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jyn grabs the wall sconce keeping cassian from going any further unless he wants her to rip it right off the wall. she legs untwist, but the grip of he thighs is still enough to keep her tightly pressed against him. ]
Compromise: the dresser.
[ she releases the light only to gesture at their low dresser. ]
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jyn's asscassian has always known jyn's upper body strength was impressive, but it's quite different to literally feel it right against him. he's got his arms around her, but she is still clearly doing some of the work herself. he is maybe swooning internally. ][ as soon as she lets go of the light, he steps further from it and further from the dresser till there is nothing around for her to grab except him. so there! ]
No. [ he is!! very firm about this!! even while he ducks in to kiss her and maybe, hopefully distract her with the voracity of it. between the bickering and her thighs, cassian is suddenly even more turned on and resolute. ] We can do that next time.
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