You did not. Asking me to move explains nothing. [if his voice is a little distracted it is because of her hands. he is trying very hard not to make any sound but the cracks and pops are such a huge relief that he keeps sighing softly every now and then.]
[her voice is lulling him into even more of a relaxed state, even if the words are purely scientific.] Are you naming the muscles?
I used to. [ she's been out of practice for some time, evidenced by her stumbling over some of them, but it's all tucked away in there somewhere. ]
I taught myself. If you know how the body is built-- [ she applies a painful amount of pressure to the knot for a handful of seconds before she feels it give way under her fingertips, smoothing her fingers soothingly over the same spot. ] --you know how to break it.
[he leans away from her a little when the pressure hurts, but he sinks back towards her when the relief follows soon after. he really should not shiver too when she says she basically knows how to break every bone in his body, and yet. yet!! he trusts her though. he's also suddenly extra aware of her leg pressing against his.]
Of course. [yeah that's all he's got right now, however impressed and teasing it manages to be at once.] Apparently you know how to help it too.
Side effect. [ her hands glide back down to work on his lower back but the impediment of his shirt is more obvious where it bunches up into his pants and it is not working in her favor. she plucks at it idly with two fingers. ]
[shirt. she's asking him to take off his shirt. he knows what rationality might say, but he's still warm from the alcohol and warm from her hands and maybe that makes him more compliant. maybe he's just always more compliant when it comes to jyn. besides, his back hurts and this is working.]
Okay. [sure, why not. he unbuttons the vest and tugs it off without issue. the other shirt he unbuttons a little more slowly, untucking it from his pants and sliding his arms out of the sleeves. pulling it away from his shoulders, he sets it neatly beside the vest on the couch and swallows a little nervously, because his back is covered in scars. most are older, though the reminders of scarif are clearly newer. it makes him feel exposed, especially with her so close behind him, but it's... jyn.]
[ jyn thinks nothing of her request until it's put into action and then he's taking his shirt off and somehow jyn didn't realize that would happen. she hums thoughtfully before she settles her hands in their original spot, fingers splayed toward his hips, thumbs pressed to the scars from scarif, pale against his deep tan. ]
I'm impressed you didn't fold it, [ she teases lightly as she looks over the scars on his back like it is a map she can orient herself on. she breathes in deep before her hands press in with the same pressure as before firm, but careful. ] I suppose it's meant to be hung.
[ light, casual. this is not going to be A Thing. ]
[somehow cassian didn't realize this was going to happen either? or maybe he just assumed it would be fine. she practically leeches onto him all night anyway, he's no stranger to her touching him.]
[he draws in a sharp breath when her hands press into his bare skin, and oh fuck maybe this was a mistake?? he can't believe he didn't think this all the way through.]
I'll hang it later. [it's fine, they're fine. the pressure is even better without two layer barrier, so it was clearly a perfectly normal suggestion. he is very very careful with his breathing as her fingers move up his back.] Your hands are cold.
They're not that cold. [ you baby. he didn't need to hiss in a breath when she touched him because it was clearly her cold hands.
even as she's massaging the tired muscles of his back, she finds herself lingering on scars that look familiar to her. not because she was there when it happened and not even because she's seen them before, but because they match her own. there's a blaster, there's a knife, there's a smattering a shrapnel probably from an explosion, there's a-- her hand stills on one perfectly straight scar. ] Vibroblade?
They are always cold. [bicker bicker always, even while her hands slide over his back. they're honestly not as cold as they could be right now, but maybe everything still just feels too warm. he doesn't miss a beat though, picking up on the way she lingers over his scars. he lets out a tiny, almost happy sounding hum.]
[he knows exactly what scar she's touching when she pauses, but it takes him a second to reply in the distraction of her now still hand. apparently he's just doomed no matter what her hands are doing.] Yes. Four years ago, during some undercover work on Coruscant.
[ jyn hasn't been back to coruscant since her family fled but she still finds herself struggling to remember where she was four yeara ago. she remembers skuhl and immediately stops remembering. she purposefully returned to the careful massage, trying to ignore the swell of loss the crashes over her heart. ]
What were you doing in the heart of the Empire, Captain?
[there's a small distraction in her massage that worries him. he almost asks about it, but then she starts up again and the moment passes.]
Trying to destroy it, of course. [he says it very lightly, as though they were not just talking about a scar from a vibroblade.] I took a handful of trips to Coruscant over the years. It's so large, I was able to use a different identity each time.
[ because of the repetitive motion of her hands, she coasts over the scar again, so neat and clean, mind wandering in an elaborate scenario in which cassian had been stabbed. ]
Who did you make an enemy of that they would stab you? Or rather whoever you were at the time.
[he wouldn't say he gets used to the feel of her hands, but at least he stops being so hyper-aware. now he's just regular-aware of every place she touches.]
Technically, every single person there was probably my enemy. [he shifts his arms around a little and closes his eyes again.] Shady contacts always come with a risk. This one was bought out by a rival gang and I was set up during a meeting.
Doesn't count if they don't know they're your enemy.
[ she bears down hard on a knot right above his scarif injuries right as he relaxes into her steady pace, pressing up a little on her knee and feeling a sting of apology but not voicing any of it. no pain, no gain. still, she presses the back of her hand flat against the spot once the jumble of tension releases. her hands are cold, it's like an ice pack. ]
He knew at the end. [which end??? he dead, and cassian killed him, but that's a repeating story.]
[the pain surprises him enough to pull a grunt, drawn from being startled more than actual hurt. he almost laughs because really, jyn? you watched him fall down a tower, this is barely anything.]
It's not. You don't have to. [a beat, while his stomach kind of flutters again.] It feels nice.
[ he's not hopped up on near death, he might actually react to pain now, she doesn't know. she is glad that it feels good, that was the point, to give him a little bit of reprieve from the soreness. if jyn's scary strong hands can do something that feels good, maybe it makes up for some of the not good things she's done with them.
she returns to kneading his back, quiet for a long while though her hands never seem to tire. ]
[the quiet is very nice and not awkward at all. he and jyn have spent a lot of time already just being quiet together and it never feels like they need to be talking. it's only broken by the occasional puff of a happy sigh while she kneads at his back, at least until she actually speaks up again.]
[ she nods, a long moment before she realizes he can't see her. ]
Krennic took us there after he released my father from Vallt.
[ from prison, when he'd rescued galen from prison. like father, like daughter. jyn doesn't talk about it, never got close enough to anyone to bother. saw already knew. jyn doesn't remember coruscant, of course, she was too young and she didn't live there very long when it came down to it, between lyra's trips with her. ]
[he knows a handful of things already via various files, but he likes hearing it from jyn more. he briefly imagines a world where the erso family never left coruscant. would he have met her anyway?]
[he hums again when she releases another big knot.] We were very well traveled children.
It's strange how some of the people here haven't even left their one planet.
[ she's not avoiding talking about her family, she's only noting the absurdity of some societies. jyn doesn't even see the appeal of exploring the stars but the idea of being bound to one planet forever is just mind-boggling.
leaning forward as she presses into another knot, one arm curls around his torso to press the heel of her hand against his breast bone. ] Breathe. You keep holding your breath.
[the longest cassian was ever in one place was fest. sometimes he forgets that a large number of people don't actually move around their whole lives.]
[her arm slides around him and his breath completely shorts out, which is literally the opposite of what she tells him to do. but she is pressed up tight from behind him and he can feel it all on his skin and he kind of wants to take her hand?]
[it takes him another few seconds to listen, drawing in a deep breath, then another.] Not on purpose. Better?
[ her arm stays curled around him so her hand can act as an anchor for his breathing, a reminder to keep breathing. she likes the feel of his heart beating under her palm, a steady thud that her own breathing instinctively matches pace to.
her fingers press hard again, further down, creeping toward the base of his spine, and since she's so close now she doesn't really need to speak loudly or even with a normal level and so her voice quiets to almost a whisper. ] Thoracolumbar fascia.
[cassian can feel her breath behind him start to move in sync with his, and it helps more than her hand to keep him on the right oxygen track. her hand is more distracting than anything else, warm and welcome pressure.]
[he shivers again when she names the muscle, the combination of how low her hand is with the sound of her voice. the tension has him shift, settling his hands beside him like he needs to check his balance, which means one of them lands on jyn's leg.]
[oh. okay. he'd been so relaxed and lost in her movements he somehow forgot how close she was on that front. too many seconds pass that it becomes awkward to pull away, so he'll just...leave it there. like that's what he meant to do. balance and all that.]
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[her voice is lulling him into even more of a relaxed state, even if the words are purely scientific.] Are you naming the muscles?
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Yes. [ two fingers run down next to his spine before her hand returns to the knot she's still working on. ] Erector spinae.
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[he lets out a very quick and quiet laugh when she just keeps going.]
Do you know all of them? [there's a how she knows in there too.]
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I taught myself. If you know how the body is built-- [ she applies a painful amount of pressure to the knot for a handful of seconds before she feels it give way under her fingertips, smoothing her fingers soothingly over the same spot. ] --you know how to break it.
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Of course. [yeah that's all he's got right now, however impressed and teasing it manages to be at once.] Apparently you know how to help it too.
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Can you get rid of this?
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Okay. [sure, why not. he unbuttons the vest and tugs it off without issue. the other shirt he unbuttons a little more slowly, untucking it from his pants and sliding his arms out of the sleeves. pulling it away from his shoulders, he sets it neatly beside the vest on the couch and swallows a little nervously, because his back is covered in scars. most are older, though the reminders of scarif are clearly newer. it makes him feel exposed, especially with her so close behind him, but it's... jyn.]
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I'm impressed you didn't fold it, [ she teases lightly as she looks over the scars on his back like it is a map she can orient herself on. she breathes in deep before her hands press in with the same pressure as before firm, but careful. ] I suppose it's meant to be hung.
[ light, casual. this is not going to be A Thing. ]
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[he draws in a sharp breath when her hands press into his bare skin, and oh fuck maybe this was a mistake?? he can't believe he didn't think this all the way through.]
I'll hang it later. [it's fine, they're fine. the pressure is even better without two layer barrier, so it was clearly a perfectly normal suggestion. he is very very careful with his breathing as her fingers move up his back.] Your hands are cold.
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even as she's massaging the tired muscles of his back, she finds herself lingering on scars that look familiar to her. not because she was there when it happened and not even because she's seen them before, but because they match her own. there's a blaster, there's a knife, there's a smattering a shrapnel probably from an explosion, there's a-- her hand stills on one perfectly straight scar. ] Vibroblade?
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[he knows exactly what scar she's touching when she pauses, but it takes him a second to reply in the distraction of her now still hand. apparently he's just doomed no matter what her hands are doing.] Yes. Four years ago, during some undercover work on Coruscant.
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What were you doing in the heart of the Empire, Captain?
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Trying to destroy it, of course. [he says it very lightly, as though they were not just talking about a scar from a vibroblade.] I took a handful of trips to Coruscant over the years. It's so large, I was able to use a different identity each time.
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Who did you make an enemy of that they would stab you? Or rather whoever you were at the time.
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Technically, every single person there was probably my enemy. [he shifts his arms around a little and closes his eyes again.] Shady contacts always come with a risk. This one was bought out by a rival gang and I was set up during a meeting.
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[ she bears down hard on a knot right above his scarif injuries right as he relaxes into her steady pace, pressing up a little on her knee and feeling a sting of apology but not voicing any of it. no pain, no gain. still, she presses the back of her hand flat against the spot once the jumble of tension releases. her hands are cold, it's like an ice pack. ]
I can stop if it's too much.
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[the pain surprises him enough to pull a grunt, drawn from being startled more than actual hurt. he almost laughs because really, jyn? you watched him fall down a tower, this is barely anything.]
It's not. You don't have to. [a beat, while his stomach kind of flutters again.] It feels nice.
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she returns to kneading his back, quiet for a long while though her hands never seem to tire. ]
We lived on Coruscant, when I was very small.
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Before Lah'mu, right?
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Krennic took us there after he released my father from Vallt.
[ from prison, when he'd rescued galen from prison. like father, like daughter. jyn doesn't talk about it, never got close enough to anyone to bother. saw already knew. jyn doesn't remember coruscant, of course, she was too young and she didn't live there very long when it came down to it, between lyra's trips with her. ]
Saw took us to Lah'mu.
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[he hums again when she releases another big knot.] We were very well traveled children.
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[ she's not avoiding talking about her family, she's only noting the absurdity of some societies. jyn doesn't even see the appeal of exploring the stars but the idea of being bound to one planet forever is just mind-boggling.
leaning forward as she presses into another knot, one arm curls around his torso to press the heel of her hand against his breast bone. ] Breathe. You keep holding your breath.
[ he probably doesn't even realize. ]
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[her arm slides around him and his breath completely shorts out, which is literally the opposite of what she tells him to do. but she is pressed up tight from behind him and he can feel it all on his skin and he kind of wants to take her hand?]
[it takes him another few seconds to listen, drawing in a deep breath, then another.] Not on purpose. Better?
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[ her arm stays curled around him so her hand can act as an anchor for his breathing, a reminder to keep breathing. she likes the feel of his heart beating under her palm, a steady thud that her own breathing instinctively matches pace to.
her fingers press hard again, further down, creeping toward the base of his spine, and since she's so close now she doesn't really need to speak loudly or even with a normal level and so her voice quiets to almost a whisper. ] Thoracolumbar fascia.
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[he shivers again when she names the muscle, the combination of how low her hand is with the sound of her voice. the tension has him shift, settling his hands beside him like he needs to check his balance, which means one of them lands on jyn's leg.]
[oh. okay. he'd been so relaxed and lost in her movements he somehow forgot how close she was on that front. too many seconds pass that it becomes awkward to pull away, so he'll just...leave it there. like that's what he meant to do. balance and all that.]
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