[he has long since come to the conclusion that she will never ask nicely, but he's not really sure he'd want her to.]
[cassian realizes what she's going to do about two seconds after she climbs on the table, right as her hands are reaching out for him. his heart sort of stutters, and his hands find her waist on instinct, but his hold is gentle, just like the kiss.]
[he returns it, of course, matching the softness of it and finding he quite enjoys kissing her like this too. it's easy and almost feels familiar, like they've been doing this forever.]
[ it's so easy she almost feels dizzy from it. it shouldn't be this easy, nothing has been easy for her, something so good shouldn't be easy. it's not like she deserves something that will make her feel good and happy.
she pulls back, slight flush coloring her cheeks. ]
[it's a softness and easiness cassian isn't used to. and it's real. more than anything else, the fact that she pulled him in and kissed him herself is reassuring. it settles him.]
[his thumb idly moves against her hip, and he ducks his head briefly into her shoulder. she called him captain and he kind of likes it?]
[just as he likes the color on her face. he pulls back to look and smile at her.] Everything about this is nice, yes.
Good. [ a beat, a smile fighting past her pursed lips. ] You can sit down now. I'm satisfied.
[ it's still A Lot. she feels like she needs to take every baby step just so she doesn't fall apart at the seams or explode from the too many emotions now trying to contain themselves in a body built for no feelings. ]
[he does not want to sit down, because that means letting her go. he supposes realistically he can't hold her forever, especially when she's standing on the table.]
Only if you will sit with me. [he's tempted to just scoop her off the table and sit her down, but his back literally just started feeling normal? it's not that far, maybe he could. he also wants to kiss her again, but he doesn't want anything to feel like it's moving too fast either.]
I'm not going to watch the film from up here. Come on, get outta my way.
[ it isn't like she makes much effort to shove him away, hands leaving his neck to rest quite comfortably against his chest. a familiar kind of fear is welling up in her chest, but still not enough to make her push off. it's just new. new and strange. ]
[oh. it's such a gentle touch, and despite how much he likes it, part of him can't help but feel like he doesn't deserve it. she's so close and warm and affection so genuine is... nice, but it's strange too.]
[she tells him to get out of the way, and he decides to forget his back for two seconds because listening to her goes against his need to be contradictory. his hands grip her waist and he lifts her up off the table. cassian does not hurt his back, but he was way less prepared for this than he imagined, so instead of being smooth and resting her on the couch, he stumbles backwards with her in his arms. his grip tightens like he's afraid he's going to drop her, and he lands with a thump on the cushions, taking jyn down with him.]
[he's not hurt, evidenced by the way he lets out a laugh, an apology slipping out in between.] Sorry. Sorry!
[ jyn squawks a surprised noise that turns into laughter immediately, even as she's pushing up on her elbows, on him, to try to get a better look to make sure he isn't actually hurt again. ]
Are you alright? [ you dumbo. ] I'm not giving you another massage...
I'm fine. [he can hear her calling him an idiot.] I let myself fall before it strained my back.
[quick thinking! his modus operandi! while he tries not to think about jyn being on top of him now! not so smart long term thinking, even if it saved his spine.]
You're stupid. [ she thinks briefly about kissing him again, the urge bright and powerful, but instead she straightens up so he can sit up and get situated and she in turn can get comfortable.
because her version of movie watching comfortable is using cassian's lap as a foot rest or sometimes resting her head next to his thigh. tonight his lap will be her pillow. ]
You're laughing anyway. [maybe it was a little stupid, just like his urge to kiss her again is probably stupid. too much too soon, he thinks. he's spared when she climbs off him, and he kind of misses it. as though she won't curl up against him later when they go to bed.]
[maybe he should have seen this coming way sooner.]
[he shuffles around to sit up, with zero pain in his back. he wants to ask her to tuck herself in against him, but it's another area that just feels... weird to navigate. he doesn't know how to ask. it's all Too Real for him! instead he just drops his arm over the couch and hopes maybe?? that will be enough??]
[ i mean he has got her there, she did laugh. she encouraged him. gdi. she was too weak and now he thinks he's adorable.
she shakes her head, but notices that he's opened up a space for her and force if she doesn't want to take it, even if it's not her normal, comfortable spot. she scrambles off the couch for a moment and drags the ottoman back to fit into the empty spot that makes it a big ol' bed almost.
when that's done, she grabs a blanket and settles neatly next to cassian, tucking the blanket around her. ]
[he bites his cheek to stop himself from smiling like an idiot when she tucks herself in, blanket and ottoman in all. they do get pretty cuddly on the couch already, but never quite like this.]
[he pulls up the holofilm, and the cat jumps up, padding across jyn to curl up in his lap. tentatively, he slips his arm from the couch so it's around her, but very gently, watching for any sign it might be too much.]
[ she doesn't snuggle so much as simply leaning against him. it's comfortable with her legs stretched out next to his, the weight of his arm over her shoulders. they watch the movie in companionable silence for a while until half way through jyn sleepily murmurs: ]
I feel alive, when I'm with you. Like... we have a chance to be-- [ her shoulders lift in a shrug. words have always been hard for her. ] Better than our lives.
[it's comfortable. they're not so wound up that they can't get up without making a fuss. they're just sitting together, companionably.]
[i feel alive when i'm with you. maybe the words were hard, but they settle deep into his bones and mean more to him than he can explain. people don't usually feel alive with him. they just end up dead. and they are, they did die - but they're here now. she made him want to do better and he's still trying.]
[he leans over and kisses the top of her head.] I think we can be. I already do feel better, with you.
[ in it to win it. jyn has know she and cassian were on the same team since he said he and his gang of broken rebels were in it for the long haul, however short it turned out being. she had been scared then, that they were asking her for absolution but now she knows they were just looking for a chance to do right by themselves for once. a chance to do something they were proud of. ]
[welcome home echoes in his head again, because that's what this feels like. home. it's not just that jyn is home, it's that they are home together.]
[okay. good. yeah. decision made and sealed.]
[the quiet settles over them again, but it's not much longer until cassian can tell jyn has fallen asleep on him. so has the cat. he is in a pile of warm and the only reason he doesn't fall asleep himself is because he wants to be awake to enjoy every second of this.]
[of course that means he's awake when the movie ends, and as comfortable as it is, he knows staying like this all night will just screw up his back again.]
[ jyn always wakes up immediately, even if she rarely chooses to actually act on being awake because of many reasons, chief among them ew. she wakes up, feels cassian beside her and decides that no, she doesn't want to be awake. ]
It's warm here.
[ the doesn't mean she isn't agreeable to laying down, but with the ottoman tucked in the couch is effectively a bed so instead of getting up and plodding unhappily to bed, she tips over away from him and stretches out. like she's laying in bed. ]
[sleepy jyn is hilarious and it always amuses him. now he even lets himself find it adorable, tucking that thought away never to see the light of day.]
[the cat wakes up and stretches, kneading briefly into cassian's legs before hopping off the couch and trotting towards the bed. she knows the drill! he sets his hand briefly on her leg, nudging it away to hint he wants to get up too.]
You can stay here if you want, but I'm going to use the actual bed.
[ she curls up under the blanket, sliding her legs from his, leaving plenty of room for him to settle in behind her but nope, he's going to go to the cold bed and spoon with the cat and that's fine. ]
[he frowns. he... wants to sleep next to her like always, but the couch! is not a good idea! he climbs reluctantly off the cushions, but hovers above her.]
[he would just go normally but he doesn't want her to think he's avoiding her. he also thinks it might be weird if he just asked her to come to bed with him. he brushes some of the hair from her face, feeling very fond.]
I cannot sleep on the couch tonight, Jyn. That's all. [a beat, before he adds on much more quietly:] Good night.
[ it's his back. that takes all the stubbornness out of her sails and she blindly catches his hand as his fingers leave her cheek, eyes opening a moment later. she doesn't ask for help up, but she keeps hold of his hand as she swings herself up to sit, shoving to her knees so she can slide off the couch. ]
's cheating. [ she'll let go of his hand to flounce to bed now, crawling in and taking the side that is usually his. she will give in to his back always, concern overwhelming most other emotions at whatever time. it's a rubbish weakness, but at least it's specific to him.
no one else is going to sway her with their injuries. ]
[the moment she catches his hand, he perks up. he wasn't trying to use his back to get her to come to bed, but he's not going to complain.]
[he's not even going to complain that she takes his side of the - admittedly much bigger - bed. they're still getting used to it.] Like you have not done similar, on purpose.
[but he sounds happy as he follows after her. only then does he realize she took his spot, so she wants... him? to be the big spoon? he crawls into bed and moves in closer. he's woken up like that before, arms tangled around her, but very rarely do they go to sleep that way.]
[he rolls in and tentatively drops his arm over her waist. normal, they can be normal. it's fine, the kiss changes nothing about how they are!]
[ the kiss changes nothing, right. exactly. jyn just wanted to feel enveloped in warmth, that's why she took his side. she was warm on the couch, she wants to remain warm in bed.
(the cat seems particularly disturbed by this change in her environment, pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed before she settles unhappily by their feet.)
[the cat will get used to it. they'll get used to it. they might not even sleep the same way tomorrow but maybe there are other things they just... need to get used to.]
[he tucks in a little closer, getting comfortable like he normally would. he resists the urge to kiss her, be it on the hair or shoulder. that would make it not normal. it is very warm like this. he likes it.]
Goodnight, Jyn.
[he almost tacks on an i love you, but he resists that urge too, and within minutes, they both drift off to sleep on this very normal very standard evening.]
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[cassian realizes what she's going to do about two seconds after she climbs on the table, right as her hands are reaching out for him. his heart sort of stutters, and his hands find her waist on instinct, but his hold is gentle, just like the kiss.]
[he returns it, of course, matching the softness of it and finding he quite enjoys kissing her like this too. it's easy and almost feels familiar, like they've been doing this forever.]
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she pulls back, slight flush coloring her cheeks. ]
That nice enough for you, Captain?
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[his thumb idly moves against her hip, and he ducks his head briefly into her shoulder. she called him captain and he kind of likes it?]
[just as he likes the color on her face. he pulls back to look and smile at her.] Everything about this is nice, yes.
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[ it's still A Lot. she feels like she needs to take every baby step just so she doesn't fall apart at the seams or explode from the too many emotions now trying to contain themselves in a body built for no feelings. ]
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Only if you will sit with me. [he's tempted to just scoop her off the table and sit her down, but his back literally just started feeling normal? it's not that far, maybe he could. he also wants to kiss her again, but he doesn't want anything to feel like it's moving too fast either.]
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[ it isn't like she makes much effort to shove him away, hands leaving his neck to rest quite comfortably against his chest. a familiar kind of fear is welling up in her chest, but still not enough to make her push off. it's just new. new and strange. ]
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[she tells him to get out of the way, and he decides to forget his back for two seconds because listening to her goes against his need to be contradictory. his hands grip her waist and he lifts her up off the table. cassian does not hurt his back, but he was way less prepared for this than he imagined, so instead of being smooth and resting her on the couch, he stumbles backwards with her in his arms. his grip tightens like he's afraid he's going to drop her, and he lands with a thump on the cushions, taking jyn down with him.]
[he's not hurt, evidenced by the way he lets out a laugh, an apology slipping out in between.] Sorry. Sorry!
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Are you alright? [ you dumbo. ] I'm not giving you another massage...
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[quick thinking! his modus operandi! while he tries not to think about jyn being on top of him now! not so smart long term thinking, even if it saved his spine.]
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because her version of movie watching comfortable is using cassian's lap as a foot rest or sometimes resting her head next to his thigh. tonight his lap will be her pillow. ]
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[maybe he should have seen this coming way sooner.]
[he shuffles around to sit up, with zero pain in his back. he wants to ask her to tuck herself in against him, but it's another area that just feels... weird to navigate. he doesn't know how to ask. it's all Too Real for him! instead he just drops his arm over the couch and hopes maybe?? that will be enough??]
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she shakes her head, but notices that he's opened up a space for her and force if she doesn't want to take it, even if it's not her normal, comfortable spot. she scrambles off the couch for a moment and drags the ottoman back to fit into the empty spot that makes it a big ol' bed almost.
when that's done, she grabs a blanket and settles neatly next to cassian, tucking the blanket around her. ]
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[he pulls up the holofilm, and the cat jumps up, padding across jyn to curl up in his lap. tentatively, he slips his arm from the couch so it's around her, but very gently, watching for any sign it might be too much.]
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I feel alive, when I'm with you. Like... we have a chance to be-- [ her shoulders lift in a shrug. words have always been hard for her. ] Better than our lives.
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[i feel alive when i'm with you. maybe the words were hard, but they settle deep into his bones and mean more to him than he can explain. people don't usually feel alive with him. they just end up dead. and they are, they did die - but they're here now. she made him want to do better and he's still trying.]
[he leans over and kisses the top of her head.] I think we can be. I already do feel better, with you.
It's a chance I would like to take with you too.
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[ in it to win it. jyn has know she and cassian were on the same team since he said he and his gang of broken rebels were in it for the long haul, however short it turned out being. she had been scared then, that they were asking her for absolution but now she knows they were just looking for a chance to do right by themselves for once. a chance to do something they were proud of. ]
That's it then.
[ decided.
they're home. ]
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[okay. good. yeah. decision made and sealed.]
[the quiet settles over them again, but it's not much longer until cassian can tell jyn has fallen asleep on him. so has the cat. he is in a pile of warm and the only reason he doesn't fall asleep himself is because he wants to be awake to enjoy every second of this.]
[of course that means he's awake when the movie ends, and as comfortable as it is, he knows staying like this all night will just screw up his back again.]
[he prods her gently.] Jyn. We need to go to bed.
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It's warm here.
[ the doesn't mean she isn't agreeable to laying down, but with the ottoman tucked in the couch is effectively a bed so instead of getting up and plodding unhappily to bed, she tips over away from him and stretches out. like she's laying in bed. ]
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[the cat wakes up and stretches, kneading briefly into cassian's legs before hopping off the couch and trotting towards the bed. she knows the drill! he sets his hand briefly on her leg, nudging it away to hint he wants to get up too.]
You can stay here if you want, but I'm going to use the actual bed.
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if he thinks she is moving now ]
Night.
[ she curls up under the blanket, sliding her legs from his, leaving plenty of room for him to settle in behind her but nope, he's going to go to the cold bed and spoon with the cat and that's fine. ]
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[he would just go normally but he doesn't want her to think he's avoiding her. he also thinks it might be weird if he just asked her to come to bed with him. he brushes some of the hair from her face, feeling very fond.]
I cannot sleep on the couch tonight, Jyn. That's all. [a beat, before he adds on much more quietly:] Good night.
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's cheating. [ she'll let go of his hand to flounce to bed now, crawling in and taking the side that is usually his. she will give in to his back always, concern overwhelming most other emotions at whatever time. it's a rubbish weakness, but at least it's specific to him.
no one else is going to sway her with their injuries. ]
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[he's not even going to complain that she takes his side of the - admittedly much bigger - bed. they're still getting used to it.] Like you have not done similar, on purpose.
[but he sounds happy as he follows after her. only then does he realize she took his spot, so she wants... him? to be the big spoon? he crawls into bed and moves in closer. he's woken up like that before, arms tangled around her, but very rarely do they go to sleep that way.]
[he rolls in and tentatively drops his arm over her waist. normal, they can be normal. it's fine, the kiss changes nothing about how they are!]
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(the cat seems particularly disturbed by this change in her environment, pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed before she settles unhappily by their feet.)
it's completely normal. nothing has changed. ]
Night, Captain.
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[he tucks in a little closer, getting comfortable like he normally would. he resists the urge to kiss her, be it on the hair or shoulder. that would make it not normal. it is very warm like this. he likes it.]
Goodnight, Jyn.
[he almost tacks on an i love you, but he resists that urge too, and within minutes, they both drift off to sleep on this very normal very standard evening.]
[n o r m a l.]
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