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[realists]

[ it could go on forever, jyn doesn't seem to get tired and she enjoys the quiet, enjoys the closeness and comfort she gets from just sitting with him. her jumps a little when he pipes up telling her she can stop because she wasn't expecting the noise, but her hands keep going for a few moments longer before she smooths her hands down his back a few times. ]

Alright. Do you want to watch a holofilm?

[ whatever they're called here, jyn doesn't really care, using recognizable terms for the familiar tech. ]

[evasives]

[it's so comfortable that it could feasibly go on forever, but what's that they say about too much of a good thing? he misses the movement of her hands as soon as she slows to a stop, but it's... probably for the best.]

Yeah. [watching a holofilm at the end of a long day is the most them thing in the world, regardless of any kind of kissing.] Did you have one in mind? There were a few new ones.

[realists]

Not the sad one with the animals.

[ space homeward bound was traumatizing. ]

You pick, I'm going to change. [ when she stands up behind him and slides over the back of the couch, the cat meows loudly like HEY YEAH I AM HERE YOU DICK. ] And feed the cat. Alright, you little monster, leave me alone.

[ and jyn pads off to do just that, yanking her pants and tank top off to put on... leggings and a tank top. ]

[evasives]

[oh right. the cat. there's a cat, who has probably been staring at them with the utmost displeasure for who knows how long.]

[he doesn't say anything, just mindlessly looks through the movies to find something that seems harmless. little major romance. no traumatizing animals. he picks an aimless action movie about racing hovercars through hyperspace, but climbs up off the couch to change too.]

[jeans are dumb. he grabs his sweatpants and switches t-shirts, then awkwardly hovers for a moment in the decision over where to go, before settling on getting comfortable once more on the couch.]

[realists]

[ cat feed, hair pulled into a side braid, pajamas on, jyn pads back over to the couch, looming over cassian. ]

Stand up.

[evasives]

[he tilts his head to look up and over at her.]

Why? You are not getting my spot just because it's already warm.

[realists]

I'm not taking your spot. Cassian, stand up. [ her arms cross impatiently even though she asked him less than thirty seconds prior. ]

[evasives]

You could ask nicely.

[he is a broken record. but he sighs, standing up and giving her a look like, 'are you happy now?']

[realists]

I could, [ she agrees, but no niceness comes from her lips.

now her chin has to tip up to look at him and she wrinkles her nose. nope, this won't do. she looks around, measuring the height of the couch, the coffee table, the stack of laundry that serves as the cat's bed.

stepping back, she moves cassian slightly to the left before stepping back and up on to the coffee table. now she is taller than him which is always rare and she reaches forward to put her hand on either side of his neck. it's obvious what she is aiming for, but when she does lean forward to kiss him it's soft and chaste. ]

[evasives]

[he has long since come to the conclusion that she will never ask nicely, but he's not really sure he'd want her to.]

[cassian realizes what she's going to do about two seconds after she climbs on the table, right as her hands are reaching out for him. his heart sort of stutters, and his hands find her waist on instinct, but his hold is gentle, just like the kiss.]

[he returns it, of course, matching the softness of it and finding he quite enjoys kissing her like this too. it's easy and almost feels familiar, like they've been doing this forever.]

[realists]

[ it's so easy she almost feels dizzy from it. it shouldn't be this easy, nothing has been easy for her, something so good shouldn't be easy. it's not like she deserves something that will make her feel good and happy.

she pulls back, slight flush coloring her cheeks. ]

That nice enough for you, Captain?

[evasives]

[it's a softness and easiness cassian isn't used to. and it's real. more than anything else, the fact that she pulled him in and kissed him herself is reassuring. it settles him.]

[his thumb idly moves against her hip, and he ducks his head briefly into her shoulder. she called him captain and he kind of likes it?]

[just as he likes the color on her face. he pulls back to look and smile at her.] Everything about this is nice, yes.

[realists]

Good. [ a beat, a smile fighting past her pursed lips. ] You can sit down now. I'm satisfied.

[ it's still A Lot. she feels like she needs to take every baby step just so she doesn't fall apart at the seams or explode from the too many emotions now trying to contain themselves in a body built for no feelings. ]

[evasives]

[he does not want to sit down, because that means letting her go. he supposes realistically he can't hold her forever, especially when she's standing on the table.]

Only if you will sit with me. [he's tempted to just scoop her off the table and sit her down, but his back literally just started feeling normal? it's not that far, maybe he could. he also wants to kiss her again, but he doesn't want anything to feel like it's moving too fast either.]

[realists]

I'm not going to watch the film from up here. Come on, get outta my way.

[ it isn't like she makes much effort to shove him away, hands leaving his neck to rest quite comfortably against his chest. a familiar kind of fear is welling up in her chest, but still not enough to make her push off. it's just new. new and strange. ]

[evasives]

[oh. it's such a gentle touch, and despite how much he likes it, part of him can't help but feel like he doesn't deserve it. she's so close and warm and affection so genuine is... nice, but it's strange too.]

[she tells him to get out of the way, and he decides to forget his back for two seconds because listening to her goes against his need to be contradictory. his hands grip her waist and he lifts her up off the table. cassian does not hurt his back, but he was way less prepared for this than he imagined, so instead of being smooth and resting her on the couch, he stumbles backwards with her in his arms. his grip tightens like he's afraid he's going to drop her, and he lands with a thump on the cushions, taking jyn down with him.]

[he's not hurt, evidenced by the way he lets out a laugh, an apology slipping out in between.] Sorry. Sorry!

[realists]

[ jyn squawks a surprised noise that turns into laughter immediately, even as she's pushing up on her elbows, on him, to try to get a better look to make sure he isn't actually hurt again. ]

Are you alright? [ you dumbo. ] I'm not giving you another massage...

[evasives]

I'm fine. [he can hear her calling him an idiot.] I let myself fall before it strained my back.

[quick thinking! his modus operandi! while he tries not to think about jyn being on top of him now! not so smart long term thinking, even if it saved his spine.]

[realists]

You're stupid. [ she thinks briefly about kissing him again, the urge bright and powerful, but instead she straightens up so he can sit up and get situated and she in turn can get comfortable.

because her version of movie watching comfortable is using cassian's lap as a foot rest or sometimes resting her head next to his thigh. tonight his lap will be her pillow. ]

[evasives]

You're laughing anyway. [maybe it was a little stupid, just like his urge to kiss her again is probably stupid. too much too soon, he thinks. he's spared when she climbs off him, and he kind of misses it. as though she won't curl up against him later when they go to bed.]

[maybe he should have seen this coming way sooner.]

[he shuffles around to sit up, with zero pain in his back. he wants to ask her to tuck herself in against him, but it's another area that just feels... weird to navigate. he doesn't know how to ask. it's all Too Real for him! instead he just drops his arm over the couch and hopes maybe?? that will be enough??]

[realists]

[ i mean he has got her there, she did laugh. she encouraged him. gdi. she was too weak and now he thinks he's adorable.

she shakes her head, but notices that he's opened up a space for her and force if she doesn't want to take it, even if it's not her normal, comfortable spot. she scrambles off the couch for a moment and drags the ottoman back to fit into the empty spot that makes it a big ol' bed almost.

when that's done, she grabs a blanket and settles neatly next to cassian, tucking the blanket around her. ]

[evasives]

[he bites his cheek to stop himself from smiling like an idiot when she tucks herself in, blanket and ottoman in all. they do get pretty cuddly on the couch already, but never quite like this.]

[he pulls up the holofilm, and the cat jumps up, padding across jyn to curl up in his lap. tentatively, he slips his arm from the couch so it's around her, but very gently, watching for any sign it might be too much.]

[realists]

[ she doesn't snuggle so much as simply leaning against him. it's comfortable with her legs stretched out next to his, the weight of his arm over her shoulders. they watch the movie in companionable silence for a while until half way through jyn sleepily murmurs: ]

I feel alive, when I'm with you. Like... we have a chance to be-- [ her shoulders lift in a shrug. words have always been hard for her. ] Better than our lives.

[evasives]

[it's comfortable. they're not so wound up that they can't get up without making a fuss. they're just sitting together, companionably.]

[i feel alive when i'm with you. maybe the words were hard, but they settle deep into his bones and mean more to him than he can explain. people don't usually feel alive with him. they just end up dead. and they are, they did die - but they're here now. she made him want to do better and he's still trying.]

[he leans over and kisses the top of her head.] I think we can be. I already do feel better, with you.

It's a chance I would like to take with you too.

[realists]

Good.

[ in it to win it. jyn has know she and cassian were on the same team since he said he and his gang of broken rebels were in it for the long haul, however short it turned out being. she had been scared then, that they were asking her for absolution but now she knows they were just looking for a chance to do right by themselves for once. a chance to do something they were proud of. ]

That's it then.

[ decided.

they're home. ]