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[realists]

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[realists]

[ it's 100% him. terrible, awful taste. she debates asking if he hit his head when he hurt his back, but she can already see the expression he'd give her in answer so she doesn't feel the need to say anything on that vein. ]

And 'cause we haven't got another choice.

[ she will point that out, however. unlike leia and jim and taako, they can't go home, they don't have a home to go back to. this is it for them. but they're together and that is how jyn always accepted it as well. ]

I never said I didn't want-- [ wow it was so easy to talk frankly to taako about sex but now it feels impossible. ] To kiss you.

[evasives]

[he shakes his head.] Even if we could go... anywhere else. I would not want to go without you.

[home was the rebellion, home was jyn, home was them together. it's in riverview now, but it's not dependent on the place.]

[something flutters in his chest when she says she wants to kiss him too, warm and hopeful and he squeezes her hand. it's a relief to have the vocal confirmation that in that much at least he's not alone.] You could have told me that from the beginning and spared yourself a face to face conversation.

[maybe?? teasing?? will make this easier???]

[realists]

Oh shut it. [ her free hand presses to his face to shove him away, glancing away herself because he's not allowed to see her little smile, even if she does huff out a mild laugh. ]

You know I don't do anything I don't want to do.

[ she didn't hit him or shove him off her -- and physically, especially right then, she could wreck him -- so she'd assumed that he knew she was on board with the kissing. ]

[evasives]

[TOO LATE. HE SAW IT. it makes his own smile widen, and for the first time since the elevator, cassian thinks everything is going to be okay.]

I know. But you know me. I was worried anyway. I never want to overstep anything with you.

[chronic worrier and overthinker, cassian jeron andor.]

Is it my turn to ask why now?

[he says it lightly, giving her the option to completely ignore it and take it as more teasing.]

[realists]

[ she might answer later, but she pulls her hand from his and moves back to her original position so maybe she won't! talk time is over, she gave him his face to face conversation, she is going back to his massage. ]

You don't overstep. I would tell you.

[ loud and clear. it's always been easy with cassian though. they made a good team, naturally, even when they didn't like each other. except for their grief and guilt riddled fight, they both knew when to back down, and when not to. ]

Stop distracting me.

[evasives]

[he almost reaches for her hand again, but then she moves behind him, and that's good enough he supposes. he's always known she would tell him, simply because she's jyn and that's how she is, but it's still nice to hear it. no lines crossed. good.]

[it settles him in a way, because he was afraid of what kissing her might do, but right now he just gets the sense that nothing is going to change them. maybe he'll get to kiss her again, kiss her more, but they're still a team and he can't bear to lose that.]

[he smiles anyway.] You are a giant distraction yourself.

[realists]

[ literally his body and physically well being is in his hands and he's still teasing her. if that isn't trust, nothing is. she presses her fingers into his sides as if telling him to shut up without being rude enough to tell him to shut up. ]

That's not on me. That's on your self-control.

[ so there. restarting his massage, relaxation and soothed muscles are on their way. ]

[evasives]

Maybe you make it easy to be distracted.

[which is a fact he is all too aware of. something about her since day one seems to have taken direct aim at his self control, and he used to hate it, but now it's just a very bizarre feeling, knowing he trusts someone that much.]

[as if proving his point, to the ire of draven wherever he is, cassian's eyes slip shut when she starts moving her hands again.]

[realists]

[ flips off draven from the afterlife. ]

Still blaming me for your ineptitude. [ shaking her head, she breaths out another laugh, but she leans forward to murmur in his ear, ] I'm not even trying.

[ have fun when she does. is this??? flirting??? ]

[evasives]

[he can feel her leaning in, and there are several different things he could do to stop it, but the fact that he doesn't means she's probably a little bit right about his ineptitude. he barely suppresses a shiver. he is so very fucked.]

[he could grab her face and keep her in close with a purpose. instead he just lifts his hand to touch her cheek lightly.] And yet apparently I distracted you first.

[realists]

You asked me to.

[ that's cheating, okay. her head tips into his hand briefly before she sits back to continue. now it's almost a point of pride, she refuses to give in to distraction right now. not when she can still feel how tight his muscles are. he might be calm and free of tension, but his poor back is not yet.

she keeps kneading his back with her strong hands, occasionally smoothing down his tee shirt when it bunches up under her hands. it feels like a little Too Much to ask him to take his shirt off this time. ]

[evasives]

Only a little. [cassian smiles softly when she tilts her head into his hand, however briefly, but it's enough to get him to stop his own attempts at distraction. he lets the quiet settle back over them, only this time it doesn't feel quite so awkward as the hallway.]

[he's grateful they seem to be in agreement about his shirt, even if it tends to be better without it, but he is 99% sure he would not be able to handle it right now. he draws in the comfort from her hands either way, feeling the soreness slowly ease away the longer he lets it go on.]

[time dimly passes, and he honestly almost falls asleep from how nice it all is, but he supposes it cannot go Forever. he speaks up very quietly.] It feels much better now.

[realists]

[ it could go on forever, jyn doesn't seem to get tired and she enjoys the quiet, enjoys the closeness and comfort she gets from just sitting with him. her jumps a little when he pipes up telling her she can stop because she wasn't expecting the noise, but her hands keep going for a few moments longer before she smooths her hands down his back a few times. ]

Alright. Do you want to watch a holofilm?

[ whatever they're called here, jyn doesn't really care, using recognizable terms for the familiar tech. ]

[evasives]

[it's so comfortable that it could feasibly go on forever, but what's that they say about too much of a good thing? he misses the movement of her hands as soon as she slows to a stop, but it's... probably for the best.]

Yeah. [watching a holofilm at the end of a long day is the most them thing in the world, regardless of any kind of kissing.] Did you have one in mind? There were a few new ones.

[realists]

Not the sad one with the animals.

[ space homeward bound was traumatizing. ]

You pick, I'm going to change. [ when she stands up behind him and slides over the back of the couch, the cat meows loudly like HEY YEAH I AM HERE YOU DICK. ] And feed the cat. Alright, you little monster, leave me alone.

[ and jyn pads off to do just that, yanking her pants and tank top off to put on... leggings and a tank top. ]

[evasives]

[oh right. the cat. there's a cat, who has probably been staring at them with the utmost displeasure for who knows how long.]

[he doesn't say anything, just mindlessly looks through the movies to find something that seems harmless. little major romance. no traumatizing animals. he picks an aimless action movie about racing hovercars through hyperspace, but climbs up off the couch to change too.]

[jeans are dumb. he grabs his sweatpants and switches t-shirts, then awkwardly hovers for a moment in the decision over where to go, before settling on getting comfortable once more on the couch.]

[realists]

[ cat feed, hair pulled into a side braid, pajamas on, jyn pads back over to the couch, looming over cassian. ]

Stand up.

[evasives]

[he tilts his head to look up and over at her.]

Why? You are not getting my spot just because it's already warm.

[realists]

I'm not taking your spot. Cassian, stand up. [ her arms cross impatiently even though she asked him less than thirty seconds prior. ]

[evasives]

You could ask nicely.

[he is a broken record. but he sighs, standing up and giving her a look like, 'are you happy now?']

[realists]

I could, [ she agrees, but no niceness comes from her lips.

now her chin has to tip up to look at him and she wrinkles her nose. nope, this won't do. she looks around, measuring the height of the couch, the coffee table, the stack of laundry that serves as the cat's bed.

stepping back, she moves cassian slightly to the left before stepping back and up on to the coffee table. now she is taller than him which is always rare and she reaches forward to put her hand on either side of his neck. it's obvious what she is aiming for, but when she does lean forward to kiss him it's soft and chaste. ]

[evasives]

[he has long since come to the conclusion that she will never ask nicely, but he's not really sure he'd want her to.]

[cassian realizes what she's going to do about two seconds after she climbs on the table, right as her hands are reaching out for him. his heart sort of stutters, and his hands find her waist on instinct, but his hold is gentle, just like the kiss.]

[he returns it, of course, matching the softness of it and finding he quite enjoys kissing her like this too. it's easy and almost feels familiar, like they've been doing this forever.]

[realists]

[ it's so easy she almost feels dizzy from it. it shouldn't be this easy, nothing has been easy for her, something so good shouldn't be easy. it's not like she deserves something that will make her feel good and happy.

she pulls back, slight flush coloring her cheeks. ]

That nice enough for you, Captain?

[evasives]

[it's a softness and easiness cassian isn't used to. and it's real. more than anything else, the fact that she pulled him in and kissed him herself is reassuring. it settles him.]

[his thumb idly moves against her hip, and he ducks his head briefly into her shoulder. she called him captain and he kind of likes it?]

[just as he likes the color on her face. he pulls back to look and smile at her.] Everything about this is nice, yes.

[realists]

Good. [ a beat, a smile fighting past her pursed lips. ] You can sit down now. I'm satisfied.

[ it's still A Lot. she feels like she needs to take every baby step just so she doesn't fall apart at the seams or explode from the too many emotions now trying to contain themselves in a body built for no feelings. ]